Friday, November 14, 2014

Choose Well. . . . #IGotOutOfYourBoxes

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Choose Well.

I gave those words to a friend the other day. He is a living, breathing, inspiring rebellion. He always chooses well. I tend to always find it hard to say. #iwriteiteventuallytho

In the midst of a really real life call for action, organized defiance, and well, rebellion, I remembered my first act of rebellion. The first time I rebelled. Not that, I’m sneaking out of the house type rebellion. Some unplanned, strategic, surprisingly chaotic type –ish. Back when I was in High School.

I went to Menlo Athertion High School. I started the #Bear legacy in god-awful school colors. Bused in from East Palo Alto/East Menlo Park (the “east” means something) by way of SamTrans, I converged upon a population of privilege I could have never conceived. Less than 5 miles away from me, there is a group of people whose experience is so divergent than mine, the book actually starts to make some sense. Google Atherton, CA. Then Google East Palo Alto, CA pre-IKEA/Nordstrom Rack. Let that sink in a spell.

I find it hard to say that everything is alright… And I spent the entire school day with the privileged them. In advanced placement classes, English tutoring, leadership activities and after-school nerdy high school kid stuff. I knew something was wrong, by my standard of right, with my every day experience, but I lived it. Actively participated in it. In my own demise. Never seriously questioned it. Not one single time. I let it happen to me. I allowed it.

And while the people sleep too comfortable to face it, your life's so incomplete and nothing can replace it… Until the final year. When the High School kids become future College students. That’s when the fire was lit inside of me. That’s when things started to change. That’s when I knew, I had to do something. College acceptance letters and scholarship awards start to change people for the worst when they’re not getting them. And they begin to brighten the target around you…when you’re trying to forget you received them. I spent a year in perpetual hiding from the mailman. Not so much from the mail at home, but from having to report the coming. Guidance counselors need to know these things. Apparently. I made it through tentatively. Not knowing what to do. Going along with it, not as easily as before. Unsure of what to do, but realizing day by day that my inactivity was not enough.

I was selected as one of the graduation speakers that fateful Spring in 1998. I get to sit on the stage. Give my remarks. Receive my diploma before my last name group is called. I’m on the program. When your High School CV looked like mine, it’s expected though. And what they planned to hear has expectations too. #NotMet

It was choosing day for me. And everyone watched for my blood to drop on the rock I carried silently. The rock that burdened me so. The one I drug silently through my whole high school life. I diverged. You know, that's a lonely moment. The moment before you decide to insist upon your freedom. I walked up to the podium in chains. The minute I unfolded my speech, looked down at those words, and gazed out into the crowd. I was more certain than anytime in my life before, that on the last page of this speech, I would be free.

While today is still today…choose well… My High School speech was my interpretation of Tupac Shakur’s poem And Tomorrow. Imagine their this must be Chaucer or Eyre or something obscure and English faces, when at the end of the speech, after I had the undivided attention of everyone, waiting impatiently for the next line, they learned of the true author. How I used his lines to talk about our today, and speak our hope for tomorrow; the words of a “gangster rapper” who couldn’t possibly be intellectual or inspiring right? As I finished my speech, I could hear my family (because they are like Legion…they are many…not evil tho), my father cheering #notcheeringbraggingactually with the other Fathers under the football stadium bleachers because the temperature still hadn’t been delegated to Moses that day, and the audible pause, before people did the she’s a kid so we should clap but we didn’t like that speech applause as I went back to my seat. My words delivered, unadulterated by comfort.

I have been nervous in front of crowds delivering professional content that I created. Content for which I know chapter and verse. I sometimes get tongue-tied telling a story about my childhood and I was there. But in that moment, I delivered each line, un-memorized, like an epic cypher, at a legends of hip hop cookout…they are playing spades at the table next to us, and somebody Mama just sent you out for ice. But you didn’t want to leave until you heard the end. I was so calm. So composed. Very eloquent and clear. I sat down smirking. I no longer had the need for self-serving recognition of my person or obligatory clapping. I needed liberation. So I freed myself… I got out of all their boxes. I got out. #IChoseWell #ItWasReallyEasyToSayThatDay

Fret not thyself I say against these laws of man, 'cuz like the Bible says, his blood is on their hands… Things weren’t the same in High School, and I really didn’t much care. My friends from the town gave me mad love for being brave. My parents saw the fruits of the genetically gifted courage. But there were those who never looked at me the same.

I wasn’t anything notable that day. If anything I was exactly what you are. I chose the words of a man, who, if he did nothing else, embraced his humanity. He was a collection of contradictions living harmoniously and unapologetically. He was insistent on being seen. And I insisted on that commencing day of High School that everyone would see me.

Which is exactly what these beautiful humans are doing a Syracuse University. They are a collection of people, a collaborative of beings wanting to be seen. They have a position, priorities, and strategies to help their Administration see them, just as they are. So when it got hard to say, they had to choose. They rebelled. An act of rebellion is nothing more than an urging, a deep plea, a sole shaking desire, to be seen. Why do we so often fear nature? Evolution is rebellion. Resist change long enough, and even that will change you.

And once a fire is lit, nothing will extinguish it. There is no chemical compound that will put that burning out. And if you think a locked door, a security force, or hunger will leave you with ashy remains to be swept under another rug, then you don’t understand this fire. You have no idea what it means to burn. You have no idea what it means to burn.

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I am inspired, genuinely inspired by THE General Body. I say to those who are unwilling to recognize your humanity, your membership into this community of human beings, that what you have done to these, you have done to me. And I feel some type of way about that. You are not alone. I see you. Your humanity is not anyone’s to choose. Your humanity is non-negotiable.

You can check out what’s happening with THE General Body at: http://thegeneralbody.org/

Follow the #DATmovementSU hashtag and like them on Facebook too! They tweet @THEgeneralbody so look them up!

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