Had I known that Superbowl
LI (51) was going to be the last football game I watched, I would have spent
the day watching that (because,
superbowl party)
and also replaying the Cowboys win over the 40-whiners at Levi Stadium. I was
in the stands that day, in the sea of blue fans making waves over the red and
gold. Because, America’s Team. I would have enjoyed that game in HD.
I would have also really enjoyed seeing Colin Kaepernick kneel in HD too. Because poetic
justice is more than just a movie.
I survived an entire football
season, without watching a single game. I know that there are those of you who
probably believe I capitalized on those “accidental” views. You know, walking
into a restaurant, and looking towards the bar seeing the game on. Visiting a
friend on football day (basically,
Sunday – Monday – Thursday), as they are glued to the surround sound
and replays. Watching some of my favorite sports shows (Highly
Questionable, Around the Horn, Pardon the Interruption) and
getting that itch to just click over to the game, just for a few minutes,
because I just want to confirm who I agree with, even though I usually agree
with Bomani anyway. But, confirmation.
None of it. I did not exploit
not one of those instances or any others. I actually walked right out of some
of the restaurants and friend’s homes. I
said what I said. No Kap. No NFL. Nope.
My life was football
from August to January. Sure football went into February, but by January, I was
winding down and accepting that I would have to wait another six months to live
again. I had to accept some ugly truths (also a movie) about
myself:
1. Football is my only hobby from August to January. Sure, I do things, but it’s scheduled around football season. And, if I have something planned with you and someone invites me to something football related, I may or may not remember to inform you that I am no longer coming. You’re probably texting me asking if I am on the way as I’m raising a glass of beer that NaShaun/KRD is nowhere to finish – so I’m texting him/them about the beer. Not you.
2. I’m super sociable because I can open conversations with football. Did you see the game? Are you going to the game? Who did you put into the game #FantasyFootball? Without football, I have nothing to contribute to a conversation. What is there to talk about in the world besides football?
3. People who go to Superbowl Parties just for the food, ‘fun’, and commercials are awful people. It’s like bringing a bottle of wine to a baby shower and all the other attendees are pregnant. Like, why are you even here? Nobody is interested in what you have (well, interested maybe) but that’s not what this party is all about. The most interesting thing here is the game, not why you don’t watch football. Who sent you?
I have loved football my whole
life, just like the Pearson kids. It was Daddie’s thing that became my thing,
then this beautiful thing we shared. We could sit for hours watching games. Then
watching commentators talk about the games. And critiquing everything because
we know more than every NFL referee, ever. Without ever being trained, we are
literally always right.
I didn’t wear a single NFL
related shirt in my collection. Even packed away the Cowboy earbuds from Alicia
MaKeykey – a surprise birthday present from an admitted Giants fan. I will
never understand how we make it work. Hell, we talked trash this football
season and I hadn’t watched a single game. I kept the Cowboy flip flops in the rotation
because I refuse to protest comfort, they were a gift from my Naija
sister-friend, and this pedicure is gonna get these stars because Lord knows I
need it. All the rest of it though, new shirts from the Dallas Pro Shop and a
never worn necklace, all of it packed away in a plastic tub, in the closet.
I had to dig into the back of
the closet for this Superbowl weekend, because some friends have 2 – for – 1 events
that include birthday parties. As much as I knew I would actively avoid the
game, I didn’t want to be a complete distraction. I wanted to be able to hide
in plain sight, like the Assassins. For people to be able to say they saw me,
when in reality, I had been in a corner with my purple journal and green pen,
writing to save my life.
When I got dressed though, I
forgot I even had it packed. I wore an army green “Nah.” shirt, a present day
interpretation of Rosa Park’s fateful protest because she was sick of Jim Crow’s
sh!t. Without intentionally trying, I stood out like a sore thumb. Are you watching the game? Nah. I
haven’t watched any football this season.
Before I even realized what I was saying, I was saying it with my chest. I will
refresh your drink. Help you use this bougie ass refrigerator in Pop’s house. I
will wash these dishes because I don’t want to do it later. And, I’m gonna be
one of those awful people who come to Superbowl parties for the birthday and
the commercials. Then I am going to go upstairs, because heeeyyyy, First Wives
Club is on! Why do I love this movie? I don’t know why, but I do.
A friend told me that she was
proud and inspired that I was able to ‘fast from football’ as I did. She did
not know anyone in her life who loved football as much as I, that was able to completely
give it up. And all the other things. I didn’t just fast from football, I
fasted from football related things. All of my sports shows. Many of the Happy
Hour places, where everybody knew I wasn’t gonna drink all of the beer. My
schedule, no matter how busy work made me, I never missed an appointment.
Sunday
– Jesus & Football, all day.
Monday
– Happy Hour and MNF.
Tuesday
– Sports Shows and Fantasy Football.
Wednesday
– Sports Shows and Fantasy Football.
Thursday
– Happy Hour and TNF.
Friday
– College Football.
Saturday
– College Football.
…because there is enough
football to do it every day. But when you have a strong moral code like mine (she
says)
you will fill your days with other things than, let’s say, our morally
ambiguous friend (most Giants fans totes are) at the table that night. Then she asked the question that
everyone is asking us protesters, are you going to
watch next season? What if Kaepernick gets a job in the NFL? Are you waiting
for that?
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| kaepernick7.com/million-dollar-pledge/ |
Answer: It’s past whether or not Kaepernick gets
a job. He did what he was supposed to do. He made us think about the state of
the football union and decide for ourselves, just like he will decide for
himself. Football seems to be the thing Kaepernick is passionate about. Just
like my being petty. If he wants to play football and goes back, I hope he makes
it to Canton one day. I will definitely watch that Hall of Fame speech.
For me and my house? (this is still just me) I don’t
know. I still have my football allies and antagonists. I am a Cowboy fan
because I am from the republic of Texas and am fiercely loyal, but not loyal
enough to side with Jerry Jones. He has race issues he needs checked. I am glad
that the Patriots lost, but I am not happy that the Eagles won. And dammit, why
did the Giants have to make that dirty dancing commercial? Now I can’t have the
time of my life anymore. See how they ruin everything?!?! The NFC East is just too big a burden to carry, saints.
The problem? There is no untelling
(that’s
a book).
I have sight beyond sight now (that’s a cartoon). Whether or not Kaepernick
makes his mark in the NFL, I have planted my knee in the gridiron already. Like
I said before, I always knew the NFL was problematic. I mean, even if you didn’t know, you have to wonder why there are so many
Cowboy fans for summa'yall to hate all over the world? Sure, there are bandwagons, but it’s more than
that. If you dig deep into the intersections of race and professional
athletics, you’ll find the Dodgers there and a whole host of other skeletons too.
The NFL is not going to change.
I changed though. Literally
took six months to do it, but the job is done. I just wish that damn Patriots
vs. Falcons game wasn’t my last view of something I loved so much. All of the
amazing games I have seen in my lifetime, and I am left with “Eh…”
But that’s the way of those
things we loved so much, isn’t it? We knowth not the day, or the time. We aren’t
ready. But we figure it out eventually.
Seeing that people are talking
about a baseball strike, my strong moral code is shaky. Life is still asking too much
of me. If I have to one day give up basketball, make sure my room in Arkham is padded.
Please.
