Dear
Outliers,
Do
me a solid and have a seat. Don’t know if you’re an Outlier? Well, if you are
not someone who directly supports and/or commits behaviors such as the officers
in the Eric Garner or Keyarika Diggles cases…and you’re
on that side of law enforcement, then I’m talking to you. And you should be
seated on that there pew. For example, if you have never choked a man to death
for selling a loose cigarette, then you should have a seat. None of this
applies to you. (you can read this tho)
Okay,
now what was I writing…
You
non-outliers are so quick to say you don’t know us, our work, our
struggle, our life etc. etc. etc… And you are right. I don’t
know all of that. But I do know a man gasping for air when I see one. And I
didn’t even use any of my fancy degrees for that.
Since
when did we have to “be in the know” about these things to offer critique. Our
country’s foundation is built on that very premise…along with the backs of my
ancestors…but that’s another blog post. How often do teachers come under fire
for failing students? What do you know about obtaining a credential and
managing a classroom? What about doctors for their (mal)practice and life
intervening techniques? You took your Hippocratic Oath when exactly? And our
favorite…lawyers for their linguistic gymnastics via the various
interpretations of the legal system? You passed which Bar Exam? California??
Sure you did. Hell, even Wall Street. The extent of my experience is an
Economics class at Menlo-Atherton High School [TINSTASFL] and a selfie I took
with that bull thingie. But, does that make my commentary on the thousands of
innocent 401Ks and retirement plans of my fellow Americans lost to corporate
greed less relevant? And really people, there have been what, 40 some odd
Presidents in this country and how many billion people somehow presume to know
exactly what President Obama should be doing?
Critique.
Criticism. Feedback. Evaluation. These things are part of life. Get over it. We
did not turn over authority to law enforcement along with our opinion and
feedback about the service we receive. We kept that. We keep that. And, we will
continue to give it.
I
work in higher education. I am a trained student development educator. I am in
essence, an expert of sorts on college students. Yet week after week, I hear
from parents who see my “expert” knowledge of their college student as false
because that’s their “child” and they would never set fire to a trashcan that in
turn burned half the suite furniture. Never. I’m totally wrong.
Do
you see me on a soapbox? Well, every so often because, well stress. But, I hear
them. I listen to them. I weigh their messages with what they think I don’t
know. And I show empathy. They have no idea what my life is like behind these
campus walls. I will never know what it was to give birth to someone, and leave
them at the wall – come what may.
If
every officer were like you outliers, then we would not be having this
conversation. To be honest, for every #CrimingWhileWhite story,
there’s a #CrimingWhileCop
one.
Your experiences with police as civilians are soooo divergent from the general
populace. So miss me with that. I don’t know your life. And you have no idea
what it feels like to be afraid to death at the sound of sirens and sight of
light, attempting to rationalize to yourself that you must have done something
wrong, though, the most you could come up with is #DrivingWhileBlack.
There
are those of you who exercise good judgment. Enforce the law justly. Educate
civilians on your processes and procedures. Represent yourselves and the true
purpose of your profession with great honor. You protect and serve. Risk your lives
daily. The sentiments that have been shared are not about you. At all. However,
we wonder, how can you in good conscious say that Eric Garner or the countless
black bodies beaten, bruised and lost somehow ALL earned their fates? As if it was
their fault in every single case. How many times did he tell the officer he couldn’t
breathe? Is it a crime to be sleep? Did Eric present some danger that we
couldn’t see? A danger that meant he didn’t have the right to breathe? If so, enlighten
me. I’ll wait. Like really, I would like to know, so I will wait. Are you so
far behind your shield and uniform so snug that you cannot objectively propose
that perhaps there was another way? If now, then the aisle leading to the pews
are open for you too. There’s room.
I
have heard all too often that officers were in fear for their lives. This is
not an untruth. I cannot dispute that at all. But, if you are so anxious, if
your judgment is always thrown off, if every time we Monday Morning Quarterback your decisions there was
always something else that you could have done, then maybe law enforcement was
not the profession for you. You realize we hold athletes and entertainers more
accountable than you? Tony Romo is my quarterback and I stand behind him as a
Cowboys fan, but it would be absurd for me to excuse every interception JUST
BECAUSE he’s the quarterback, and I’ve never been one. No, he’s needs to
practice, meditate and read the damn defense. My fantasy football team will
never be great or make it to the playoffs if something doesn’t change! I
thought I was going to be a Sports Doctor at one time. I loved my academic
study. Did a decent job in it. Thought it was the field for me. Then, after
seeing enough sports injuries I thought, or nah. As
much as I loved my intensive academic study, the reality was, I was not going
to be the best Sports Doctor. And it was really hard to let go of that dream.
But at some point, you have to take inventory of yourself and be honest. If you
can’t be honest, ask a friend…or a therapist. Or Jesus.
While
I was realizing the dream of Sports Medicine that I would realize wasn’t my
dream at all, I was a Resident Assistant. It seems funny that I hated my first
RA, and yet I ended up in the profession. I naively believed (as
many people who choose their careers) that I could make a
difference in the lives of my fellow students, especially the ones that looked
like me.
Before
I became an RA I felt that these “students” had way too much power, didn’t
understand what I was going through, weren’t helpful, didn’t listen, and
planned stupid programs that me and my friends would never go to. Then I became
an RA. I realized that indeed “we students” had a considerable amount of power,
were trained to understand our residents and provide them resources, were super
helpful – though not always the help our residents wanted, listened to every
single thing because we had to write it in weekly reports and document it in
incidents, and sometimes planned stupid programs because we were sometimes
awful time managers. I had sooooo much power. Because I was trained, I knew the
policies (law) and I
was trusted by the University Staff to be able to identify and document
violations. Sure there was due process and objectivity in the conduct process,
but the documentation of an RA? It’s assumed as truth first. Let’s face it, it
just is… And with that, potentially an innocent student could end up with a conduct record.
A record that would remain part of that student’s educational records… A severe
enough violation could even end up notated on a transcript. All starting from
an RA incident report. And with all that power, came great responsibility.
In
conversations I have with folks today about my career, this comes up. The “RA”
Conversation. Because all these educated folks I hang out with has one of these
stories. And, they are usually not as awesome as the stories I think my residents
have about me. Actually, they are pretty terrible. There are a crap ton of
really bad RAs out there. And it pains me to hear it, because I took pride in
my job and advocated for my residents. I took their safety and security to
heart, and did my best to make good decisions. But not every RA was like me.
And not every police officer is like you Outliers.
When
we have those conversations, I usually never respond in defense. Mostly because
I was not there. I did not live in that building or on that floor. I have no
idea how that RA was trained. Or if they cared about their free housing more
than their residents. I don’t attempt to make their experience invalid because
I was a good RA, and I knew plenty of other good RAs. That person’s experience
as a resident is truth. And my work as an RA who was professional, supportive, advocating
for my residents, and often exceeding expectations of my supervisors is truth. These
two truths can co-exist. We’ve just uncovered the lie that so many choose to
overlook.
The
nation is hurting. Many people of color have a crisis of conscious every time
they realize they "need" 911. Vigilante justice is frowned upon unless you’re
Oliver McQueen #WeDontKnowHowToUseBowsAndArrows #WeWouldGladlyDoItOurselves, you
know, and we really don’t know which 911 we’re going to get. Will it be one of
you Outliers, or will it be Darren Wilson? Or perhaps the Denver Police Officer who stood
in the 2-day-payday gap for the family with the autistic child? [the
Black denver police officer, but law enforcer nonetheless…this tea is
delicious]
These
are proverbial straws that are breaking our backs, cutting off our air, and
killing us in our sleep. Lives are being lost. While you’re busy defending your
position, there are those laying their families to rest. Meanwhile, the persons responsible are allowed to testify in secret. These families bury those bodies with the knowledge that not only did the police fail them, a "grand" jury probably not of their peers failed them as well. If you cannot imagine
what it is like to live like this, knowing what we know, how can you expect us to
understand your life is like behind the shield? ...or empathize with you?
I’m
not even sure how to end this,
……………..
