Sunday, February 22, 2015

Communications Hill: Where Bad Ideas Go To Die

So yea…yall got me back running. Got a couple of lunch runs in, after work runs, opting for lightrail as opposed to driving…like I am putting in work son…

So my friend invites me to do the stairs at Communications Hill. It’s not too far from where I live, and like I really plan anything besides college football #seasonover on a Saturday morning. Okay, I’m in. It’s just some damn stairs.

On a hill, dummy. Stairs on a gottdamn hill. I promise I got to be the stupidest person with multiple degrees you know. And what has my smart arse done? I decide I am going to take the lightrail TO the hill, because then I can get a warm up one-mile run in TO the hill BEFORE we do the stairs.

And I was rubbing my hands together, starting a campfire like, this is the smartest thing you’ve ever come up with…

You dummy.

But I haven’t realized just how dumb this was, because that warm up mile was everything! Like I really felt like I was gonna be somebody and go somewhere… #areyoupayingattention?

My friends are en route, so I decide I am going to jog up the hill to see how high it goes. Because, like, I have all the time in the world, right? Well, the jog quickly turned into a brisk walk because it’s a hill, and remember dummy, you actually avoid running inclines.

As I make it to the top of the hill, my friends call. I scurry down the stairs to meet them. They are beginning their trek up the stairs, and I realize that I woke up at 8:00am on a Saturday, to walk up and down stairs. I actually have stairs in my home, but I’ve taken the lightrail, to walk up somebody else’s stairs, when I pay monthly for a set of my own.

Intelligent, right? Right.

Yo, that was a fleeting thought because somebody hit the nitro button. It was like that time I had too much caffeine. I. Could. Not. Be. Stopped.

So, I would walk/jog up the stairs, and run the declining path down to the bas of the stairs, adjust my sports bras, and do it again. And again. And again. As I made it to the cut off for the path, I saw my friends taking the route in the other direction. So, I did what any friend would do…made my approach ever so slightly and quietly. Waited until the moment they thought they were gonna give up and scared the crap out of them. I’m like Major Payne, homey…nobody gives up on my watch.

But I’m not tired yet #RunninForJesus… I decide that I am going to keep jogging upward and onward, and making bigger loops around this place because there are more stairs, more inclines, more declines, more paths, and apparently, I have all the time in the world.

Two hours later, I’ve decided that I’m done. I can go home now. I mean, it’s a short drive from here to my house, and I kinda need a shower, and I got plans with my friends later. And, if I do any more, I won’t be able to wear heels.

I think to myself, wait? Did I park at the top of the hill or the bottom? Well I must have driven to the top because I’m at the bottom and I don’t see my car. Let me pull out my keys and double check before I go up these stairs again.

Okay, just get your keys off the dresser because you left them there. Because you took lightrail.

Yes dummy. You took the lightrail. Because you thought it would be an awesome thing to have a warm up run AND a cool down jog.

I walked back to the lightrail defeated, hanging on to the smidgen of satisfaction that I conquered Communications Hill. And that smidgen was left on the lightrail because I almost missed my stop. And by the time I got off, I realized the smidgen was still in the seat, on its way to Winchester. Because not only did I take the lightrail that morning,

…I walked to it.

And what did I learn from all of this?

Nothing.


You already knew that I’d go back. 

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