Showing posts with label common sense. Show all posts
Showing posts with label common sense. Show all posts

Monday, February 5, 2024

#Medal(less) Mondays

Remember how I told yall that I was a grown adult, but also very much a child, and should always be supervised? I feel like you don’t remember because things continue to happen to me, and I continue to remind you.

Okay, so this is what happened. We were in a panoramic picture for like ever right? Everything was closed and we couldn’t go anywhere or do anything. Which sucks when it’s your birthday. I mean, you can still get gifts and see people, but like you have to sit outside, and be so many feet away, and wear masks. 


But this was the post-panoramic picture era and outside was doing things and I loved it. Going to baseball games with friends, eating all the seafood that was ever made in the history of Uncle’s kitchen, drinking all the things, sleeping in as long as I wanted, and smiling. It was an amazing weekend of smiles celebrating my birthday.


The last event, a Wine Walk, was the best way to end it. Blocked off streets, bottomless wine thanks to being a year older and well, buying a ticket to the event, steaming turkey leg, and oversized grilled oysters. Throw in some good friends you haven’t seen in a while, and it was an amazing day. Absolutely amazing. I mean, day drinking and eating, and getting home while there is still light outside? Life sometimes gives, to us millennials, abundantly. 


I arrived home feeling amazing. I navigated the tetris that was the cars in the driveway and on the street because, well, my Uncle. I found a path through the freshly manicured grass, and headed for a seat on the porch to take in the rest of the sunshine. I stopped mid-walk because I heard my Uncle’s voice. He was already on the porch, on the phone with someone. I raised my hand in a happy wave, and took a step.


In milliseconds, my body was shaped like a chalk outline of a person who fell from a few stories up. Still alive, but how would you know for certain? I just laid there wondering how my purse was launched so far from me, because it was literally the only thing in my hand. What’s worse is that Uncle literally worked my fall into his conversation - that hadn’t stopped. 


“Uncle. I don’t think I can get up.” I actually thought about not asking for help, as if nobody couldn’t clearly see me laid out in the grass in the front of the yard. Like there was a cloak of invisibility over me or something. 


“Man, let me go. This girl is still laid out on the grass.” Laughing. “I know, right!” More laughing. Obviously, whoever he’s speaking to knows me and expects this of me.


Uncle had to bring me a crutch to get up. A single crutch, with which to balance myself, through the grass, up the two steps, into the house. I completely forgot about my purse. He brought it in and put it on the kitchen counter.


yes, my ankle is hella ashy under there
How did a magical weekend end like this? How Sway? I’ve run half marathons, ragnar relays, double running event weekends, and I never ended up like this. I SPENT THE WEEKEND WALKING! I didn’t even have heels on. Sway! You haven’t answered me! 

I went to the bathroom, cleaned myself up, and hobbled into some pajamas and into the bed. There was still more sun out, but I didn’t see any of it. Until the next day.

___


7:00am, the next day.


“I’m out.” Uncle on his way to work.


“Uncle!!!!!! I don’t think I can walk!” He bursts through the room door assuming I’m laid out again, but I’m in the bed looking at my swollen ankle. It’s like the size of a grapefruit by this point.


“You would hurt yourself when I have to go to work.” Yes, yes I would. I am known for selecting the most inconvenient times to hurt my own self. Walking is my fault now, I guess. He goes to the kitchen and gets an ice pack. I’m instructed to call him if the swelling doesn’t go down. I situate myself in the bed with the ice pack and try to sleep.


But eventually I have to pee. And like I realized at 7:00am, I can’t walk. And I can’t reach that 1 crutch because, where did I put it? Here’s where things get interesting. I’m clearly NOT going to pee in the bed, BUT IF I did pee in this bed, who would know? I literally do the laundry. I got hella bath and body work candles. And yes, I tell yall all my business like my Uncle does, but this - this - I can absolutely keep this to myself.


So I roll over the side of the bed and fall to the floor. Hard. I didn’t realize how tall the bed is and how not tall I am. The math didn’t math and I should feel some shame, but the only thing I feel is the subwoofer attached to my ankle. I shimmy to the bathroom, on my knees and with might unknown get myself propped up on the toilet. Relief. Now, to get back to my room and get my phone because Uncle gotta leave work and fix this.


My phone. In my purse. In the kitchen. On that high ass counter. I haven’t even pulled my pajama pants up. I am in tears yall. Tears. Mostly because I know what’s next. That shimmy I did to get from the bedroom to the bathroom was short. That forward >> left >> long hallway >> right >> through the living room >> left, that I needed to make happen to get to the kitchen, from the bathroom? I literally laid on my stomach, on the floor, and dragged my ridiculous body through the distance of the house, swiffering the floor with my transgressions. When I got to the kitchen counter, I used a barstool to get from horizontal to vertical, and realized I was at the wrong counter.

me in my "good" sweater
I don’t even know how my Auntie from up the street got to the house, to me, and us to Urgent Care. Uncle leaving it unlocked because I'm me makes the most sense though. Not sure, but it was definitely wide open when she got there. I do remember at one point in our exchange saying to her with an unearned amount of audacity that I would be okay - that I didn’t need any help. She just looked at me, as she should have, because WHAT? Girl, if you don’t put your people-of-WalMart outfit on, get your pocketbook, and hobble your butt into this car?

The homey (C.H.) said it best, Lawd. We’re getting a handler for you. You can’t be trusted with yourself.


So the Mondays have been without medals because sometimes you hurt your ankle so bad it takes 6 months to get back into shoes - not running shoes, but two shoes that match. There’s more to the medal-free mondays, but I thought we should get the jokes out first. 


I owed you that.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Felicia & Tyrone Had A Baby. . .


How do I know that? Because I’m that unfortunate child. It’s a shame to have this level of education and intelligence (book sense) yet consistently fail like this (no common sense) at life. Did you know I studied physiological sciences in college? I actually know what caffeine does to a person, yet I took a caffeine pill with FULL knowledge that I don’t normally have caffeine AND that I have increased my physical activity #14in2014 exponentially. I hate myself. And me. And I.

Here was my Tuesday in the office…

So, I had the greatest idea this morning. In the car. In the car in the parking garage. In the car, in the parking garage, at work…and the green grass grew all around and around. Myself was tired, so self thought to myself, “Myself, since you hate coffee, why not just take some caffeine? It’s what people get from coffee anyway, and it might just wake you up…without staining your Crest smile.” And Myself said to Self, “You know what Self, that’s a brilliant idea!” And then Myself thanked Self, and they got out of the car. Where did "I" go?

That was at 8:29am. Halfway up the two flights of stairs to the office, at 8:31am, I realized I left my lunch in the car. So I went back down the stairs, to the car, then back up the stairs. When I got to the spot on the stairs where I realized I left my lunch, I glanced at my phone. It was still 8:31am.

I am Flash. He got his super speed from caffeine. This feels awesome!

Only, this was the WORST idea I’ve EVER idea’d…and yes, I’m still the same person who attempted to climb the Eiffel Tower AND ran 9.3 miles after having Hangar One Vodka the night before.

I’m an idiot. I’m an idiot that can also feel the skin on her middle toes. And hear my aorta working. It sounds like music coming from “Dre Beat’em Up” headphones. Yo…I wonder if anyone ever used their heartbeat to make a beat? That would be sick. My heart sounds like the beat from Oh No, with Twista rappin at an Avril Lavigne concert. Kanye would LOVE this sound. Hip Hop hates me for that music mash-up. I’m sorry.

I need adult supervision. At all times.

I feel like the child of Felicia from Friday and Tyrone Biggums from the Chappelle Show.  People should have to apply to procreate. Even the fictional characters. Because somehow they made me.

Okay, so here is a list of things to NEVER do after having taken a caffeine pill. In hella random order. You thought I was on tangents before? Welcome Aboard the Leer Jet of Tangental Thoughts!

Hot Tea. Nothing is inherently wrong with having a hot pomegranate tea after caffeine. Only, you should find a friend to get the tea for you, walk the cup to your office, and place it on your desk. Have you ever tried holding something whilst your body shakes like a mild earthquake? It’s dangerous. Oh…and have said friend sweeten it for you. There’s so much honey in this tea, I’m on Winnie the Pooh’s Most Wanted List. Fairy tales are coming after me! Help! And maybe they should drink it for you. I have 3rd degree burns on my thoughts.

Origami. Yes, I fold paper cranes when I’m stressed, bored, or have a piece of paper in front of me. Yo, these cranes are sooooo cute! But like my attention to folding details is so high, it took me like 30 minutes to make one. I’ve never concentrated so hard on not concentrating so hard on something in my entire life. I like paper cranes. They’re cute. I just scratched my neck.

Work. Maybe you shouldn’t go to work. I’m sure my staff thinks I’m crazy. Like they thought I was crazy before, but like, they legit think I’m crazy. I watch their lips move, but I don’t hear anything…and I get super excited over the things I think they’re saying to me. That made no sense. Don’t believe me? Just watch. What time is it?

Skip Breakfast. Apparently it helps to have food on your stomach. Welp. I didn’t read the directions. Maybe I shouldn’t skip those either. That bagel sandwich was EVERYTHING! It was soooo good. Skip? Hmmm, what does Phase 10, Peanut Butter and that dude Miranda from Sex in the City dated all have in common? #WellDone

Talk To Your Friends. They are NEVER going to let me live this one down. I have no idea what I’ve been saying to them all morning. The fact that I have no idea what I’ve said and I’m this awake is a problem.

Those are the things to never do. Here are the things that are REALLY DIFFICULT to do with a caffeine pill:

Count how many times you blink in a minute. Yo….like seriously. I can’t keep up with my blinks. I’m trippin out because I’ll blink like 10 times really fast, then my eyes just stay open. It’s like my eyes are one of those flipping book things…with pauses! This is freaking me out. I just blinked 8 times uncontrollably and kept my eyes open for 23 seconds! UNCONTROLLABLY!

Walk. I can’t keep up with myself. It looks like the world is moving in slow motion, but I’m going so fast. I think I walked too fast, I walked into the Matrix. Where did that white rabbit go?

Drive. It’s really difficult to drive because I keep passing my car up. I’m walking faster than the speed of sound. You didn’t even hear what I just said.  And yes, You’re Welcome.

Sit Still. I’m one neck scratch and involuntary shake away from running around the perimeter of campus. In boots.

Man, I should take one of these things before a race. I wonder who would cross the finish line first? Me? Myself? Or I? They should hold hands and do it together. Free At Last, Free At Last, Thank God my body is Free At Last. Wait. What?

Why do they sell beer in six-packs if you end up with one beer belly? Sounds like false advertising to me.

I’m never having caffeine again. I wonder if you can get a prescription for this stuff. I feel great! I think I’m going to crash really hard. Someone come get my keys. Doesn’t matter, I can walk faster than my car. I can feel my skin…it feels brown.

It took me exactly 5 minutes and 36 seconds to type this. With interruptions. Told you. Speed of sound. You Can’t C Me.

Friday, December 13, 2013

be•lov•ed



be•lov•ed: [bih-luhv-id, -luhvd]
adjective: greatly loved; dear to the heart.
noun: a person who is greatly loved.
synonyms: cherished, precious; sweet, darling.

Beloved.

“…let us love one another. For love is of God, and everyone that loveth, is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not, knoweth not God, for God is love [God is love]. Beloved [beloved] let us love one another, 1st John, 4, 7 and 8.”

That was my first recollection of Beloved. Singing in the youth choir at Faith Missionary Baptist Church. I have not sung those words in years. I never knew, that I actually knew what those words meant. I have always known God. Therefore, I know love. And I, I am His Beloved.

That was common sense as a little girl.

Read it! NOW!
My second recollection of Beloved was the novel. Beloved, the character. And if you have read the novel, sparknotes, or seen the movie (Thanks Oprah), then you know the corresponding soundtrack is nothing like our youth choir’s recitation of I John 4: 7 – 8. Each character in the novel had their own narrative of Beloved, and they, in very different ways discovered who they were through that narrative; they confronted who they were and were transformed – made different. I wept for Beloved as I wrote that paper at Menlo-Atherton High School. Mostly, because I was weeping for myself. Her unknown past was my present then. And people seemed to become something else around me. So, I was Beloved.

That was book sense as a teen.

Before I went away to UCLA, my mama said, “Now don’t go get a bunch of book sense and no common sense.” Mama knew, better than I ever will the importance of balance. She did not have to get on ice skates to realize it. She’s kinda smart, and kinda kind, and a whole’lotta impo’ant. And she knew her child better than everyone. Mama knew I would do exactly what she warned against. She knew I was going to take off for Los Angeles and get a bunch of book sense. #NoCommonSenseAsideFromTheRapper

And so I have been living life as the Beloved I came to know in my teenage years. Sadness. Depression. Loneliness. Self Doubt. Mystery. Worry. Anxiety. Tears. Really lonely tears. Only nobody knew. She was just a character written in my books. Her narrative became the words I would daily write. And I was always a different version of her. Of Beloved.

Then, there was this guy (…again with the “guy” stuff…I know, I know…). And he said to me, “You are beloved. By everyone.” And I thought to myself, “How can everyone see my pain?” #EyesNeverLie. “How have I done this horrid thing?” … “How can they see my spots?”

But he was not looking at my eyes. Or the tear that fell. He was looking past my sadness, through my pain, beyond my depression, above my self-doubt and around my worry to the beautifully broken parts. The heart. #thatswhereitstarts #RainingJane. And there, he found Beloved. She was singing verses 7 and 8. He watched her pressed Sunday morning curls bounce up and down as she declared she was Love; not knowing, she knew exactly who she was. She is the same person he knows. It is absolutely who I am.

But, am I really B/beloved?

I asked him (that guy) what that meant. beloved? I had a common meaning. I had a book meaning. But those meanings did not quite capture what he was meaning:

See, in our world (his and my shared world) everyone who knows me, loves me. Completely. There is an energy and enthusiasm about it. I am real. I am giving. I am not liked – at all. I. Am. (be)Loved. I am beheld, very carefully, in high regard. Like, if everyone found out that some one, did something really awful to me #IdNeverTellThem they would collectively hate that person on my behalf so I would not have to carry around the residual bad karma from said hate. I attempted to interrupt him, to make an excuse for who I was. Like apologize for being all of this. Doing nice things is the right thing to do, right? He is a great friend – a really great one, so the very least I could do is find ways to #BeGood to him. But everyone is not that way. And, I am not like everyone. Not everyone feels the way they feel about me, about other people. And more importantly, how could I not know that? How could I not know who I was?

I have spent quite a bit of time, energy and money on shoes wanting so desperately to be loved. And not feeling it at all. Loved. Or feeling what I thought it was, only for it to stop feeling me. I am too book smart to see that just about everything around me loves me.

I am be(ing)love(d).