Addiction Is Real #VivaLaResistance #boycott

Addiction is real, yo. No jokes.

My name was given to me by my dearly departed father, and I am addicted to professional football. My addiction started at the moment of my birth. Knowing that the professional football season was almost upon the land, I decided to depart my dearly infirmed mother during the pre-season, as to not interrupt the opening of the football season. Knowing that my father would want to have some company for the first Dallas Cowboys game of the year, I came to the earth in time to have full control of my senses to enjoy Sunday morning, afternoon, evening, and Monday night football. We would spend a few decades doing football together. Even to live long enough to see Thursday night football. #BecauseWeAreAblessedPeople #FootballAlmostEveryDay

Even at my birth I have been sacrificially selfless, putting the needs of others before me. I am the epitome of humility. Try it sometime.

Am I making fun of addiction? Absolutely not. If I go longer than a week without being in a mall the internal functioning of my organs go into survival mode. Let me not get the notification of my wine shipment – woes be until the next person I see after that missing email. And if you wrinkle the packaging on my sweet potato cookies, be assured, it will be my genuine pleasure to arrange the meeting for you and the Master. #Hawkeye #Creasy

Addiction is real, yo.

Which is the point of giving up football this season. We’ve spent so much time talking about what Colin has done, and what the NFL did to him in retaliation, we haven’t been talking about all the people murdered in the path of the debate. He just wanna be out here fully human and exercising his rights to live and throw a football, but that’s too much to ask. I wouldn’t hire Blaine Gabbert to throw trash away (and I despise taking out the trash), and you’re defending the NFL? Just, no. If Blaine is on your FF team, then you intentionally decided to come in last place. You didn’t even draft him. Which. Is. The. Point.

nflkneeldown.com

So some of us other humans have been faced with the non-alternative facts that we’re standing for a flag that is kind of actually doing nothing about the killing of other humans like us and maybe we should do something. And, since protesting, speaking out, and donating to worthy causes hasn’t seemed to fix it yet (keep doing that tho, fam) we decided to set our gaze in other places because the homey sat – and kneeled.

In the process, we managed to wake up, drink water, and mind our own non-watching NFL business on Sunday. That was not good enough. Because so many of you out there, woke up, sipped tea, and came up with all the reasons why this is stupid I bet Kap ain’t missing no games… and how we won’t make it But you gonna watch SportsCenter & play in your Fantasy Football league tho… May all your blowouts be sweated out in the winter and your line ups look like Dre’s from the #ChopShop episode. The man is a professional football player. That’s like me leaving higher education and not following the disaster that is devos to title ix. It has been my entire life – for my entire adult-ish life. The contradiction and hypocrisy is key. We are humans. Humans are walking contradictions and hypocrites. Don’t believe me? Look in your mirror. See...there you are - witcho’human self. Looking all mammal and what not.

Kap just want us to be fully realized and regarded as human beings – because there are some people who get to do it (read: YOU know WHO), and others who don’t (read: probably, YOU). Humans do things that are contrary to living a full and healthy life (read: drinking three swirls) and get to live the next day to maybe decide better. Shouldn’t we all be able to live in such a way? Also, this is me telling you NOT to have three swirls. Like, do the opposite of this thing and some other stuff I do. But if you decide to protest for you, that’s cool.

Kirby Lee - USA Today Sports

So, what? Why does that matter? Why do you care if I half-ass a protest anyway? There is money to be made in some FF leagues…and you have no idea how long Around The Horn & P.T.I & me been in this thang! Those are my real life TV friends that don’t know me at all. I love them, yall. We go way back like my Cadillac. You half-ass your workouts all the time, but you don’t see me out here in these innanet streets discouraging you. You miss the point of the protest completely because….Some. People. Are. Still. Dying. Some people are still being harassed by the police. Some people with hella scrilla-scratch that look like me get pinned down on Las Vegas streets. And you’re out here using your energy to criticize me? Trash. You’re basura, bro. Like la ordure I wouldn’t pay Dan Orlovsky to throw out...the back of the endzone. This is what this dude is KNOWN for. Remember that? How did these dudes make NFL rosters before Kap? #NahSon #ImWithKap #SoManyQuestions #ThatIhaveAllTheAnswersFor.

At work, I had the privilege (read: other duties as assigned) to give out 49er vs Panther tickets for this recent game. I put the call out to the students. One student in particular, conflicted, asked me about the tickets. Hey, are you still protesting football? Yea man, it’s so hard *neck scratch*, I didn’t realize how many other things I would have to stop doing. I can’t even watch sports shows because it makes me want to watch the games. I know…it’s just we had that conversation in training, and I really want to not watch, but you said the tickets were free, fam. I don’t know what to do. Sweetie…I have no reason to judge you. If you want to go to the game, it’s cool. Go and have fun. It’s not like I never went to a professional football game before. You have to find your own way to do it. Just like I need you to drink your water and mind your own business, I’m gulping these smart waters and crying real tears – alone.

Because that’s the other point. I have always known there was something not exactly okay about professional football. I avoided it, because we never want to face the things we love with a critical eye. The paradox of education is precisely this - that as one begins to become conscious one begins to examine the society in which he is being educated. #JamesBaldwin #BecauseWhenYouKnow #dobetter. More than that, we never want to leave them because we can’t imagine our lives without them. Our lives will always be less, we assume, so we might indulge a little less, but we never let go completely.

A friend of mine got drafted some years ago. I remember being super excited for him at his draft party. Laughing about our college days just recently passed. Speaking fame and fortune into his football future. Eventually we got to a conversation about the combine – because that had to be the dopest thing ever, right? About how he was “labeled” with a number. Because it makes sense to replace a name given to a person with all the love people have in their world with a number. It’s easier to replace a whole human with a whole digit, yall. Every part of his body, his grandma prayed over daily, measured. Once pride filled gazes from loved ones turned into gawking scouts with clipboards. Made to perform athletic feats at the sounds of whistles and starting stopwatches. Being examined, critiqued, timed, and debated behind is running down the field back. 4.4 seconds locked in an eternity. Hoping, perhaps, to be good enough to be “selected” when he was and still is one of a chosen people already. To do all the things he just did, in all the ways he had just done them, in front of millions, week after week, to be criticized because he makes millions (if he was “lucky” to) week after week. This sounds amazing. We should watch the product of this all day Sunday, Monday night, and Thursday night – forsaking all other activities.

Patrick Risha CTA Awareness Foundation

This is what I had to face. And so–the–eff–what it took me forever to see myself for what I was doing. People who smoke, drink, do illicit drugs, and a whole host of other things face the mirror too late (for some) too, and we welcome them back to the road to recovery. I have so much joy for people who choose daily to live their lives as a better version of themselves. The same can be said for us choosing to give up football. Sure, watching sports isn’t a death sentence to a fan, but if CTE is proof of anything, it’s that football IS killing somebody(’s son).

Sunday felt strange. It was my first day without professional football. I had all those impulses I had before – who am I watching the game with? …where am I watching the game? …dear God if you bless me with my perfectly smoked portion of wings and bar nachos, I will be satisfied. …what beer am I gonna waste today? #iMissYouSoMuchNaShaun #YouTooKRD #YouSoLoyalToMeAndMyBeerOrders. After all of that, I went for a run.

It’s also the first time I won’t be able to talk about football with Daddie. And, if i'm honest, him not being here makes it a little easier to do. Guess I’m just getting started with having more firsts. #MaryJackson #HiddenFigures #ShutUpTAT