Considering Courage #AlwaysUnCanceled

Writing about courage isn't a tough thing to do. I've already done it in this blog. I was telling yall about one of my sisters from a different mommie and mister, and well, I heard from her this week. She might be feeling some kind of way about things in her life right not, but she's doing it and feeling it, with all that courage she has.

Gratitude is Done. Hope has been checked off the list. There was laughter and humor. (I got some #Humor in with #GSB7daychallenges #SeriousBusiness). I even got a little inspired. Now it’s time we consider COURAGE.

I’ve often thought of courage, with the words one of those #tall runners shared with me #oaklandrelay #teamTallsAndSmalls … On taking writing seriously, she told me to do it afraid. Isn’t that the way with courage? A reaction to fear. Something scary happening to you, forcing you to be decided about your next course of action. I don’t like the person my fear reveals to me. She becomes this inanimate being, that watches the world move around her. And this week was no different.

I got (still have) a terrible sinus infection. A sister-friend’s grandmother passed. Shellie is mourning or grieving (or hell, I don’t know). And since the old folks used to say things happened in threes – I’m hoping that the “dying” of my nasal cavity is being counted, because I can’t have any more of this. I mean, did yall forget about that whole pandemic happening outside our windows? Not that I was a fan or supporter of funeral related activities... My feelings aside, I have always wanted people to be able to make their peace, with their loss(es), in the ways they see fit. And the’rona is out here seeing fit physical separations – of all kinds. Can you imagine that? Not being able to wish those that have passed on a proper farewell, for the real possibility that you might join them in 14 days or less. My God.

I'm surprised I even got out there. I wasn't completely immobile this week, but I was completely static some of the time. DJ D-Nice keeps the doors to #ClubQuarantine open, and I need my #LoveBizarre fix, which forces me to move. But that’s also the thing about courage isn’t it? It surprises you.

10k = 6.2 miles

Running (outdoor): 6.35 miles

   [The Math: There I go, overachieving again…if you can even call it that.]

Scarlet Flowers (Los Angeles, CA)

I met a woman who loves sunflowers just as much as I do. I did not think it possible. I love sunflowers so much, that when people who know me see them, wherever they are, they call/msg me to let me know that they saw sunflowers. They’re literally the only flower I receive, and I don’t know that I even told all the senders that they were my favorite. I guess I dropped enough hints. But, woman, sunflowers, we love them, differently and the same.

The first time we met, at her home, I was overwhelmed by yellow. It was giving me ...oh, maker did you know... and I need your sunshine on me vibes. It was the feeling of yellow, of sunflowers, vibrating through you. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt more at home in a place I did not live in my life. I brought with me a sunflower mug, as is the custom to bring the host flowers. We hugged. There were more vibrations. Those vibrations, those emotions, those feelings, have so many names. We loop them into love though. That was love.

That woman is not just a sunflower, she is everything that sunflowers represent. Courage being above them all. This 10k was because of her. Because maybe that surprise I felt was a reverberation of the vibration we shared that first day. I thought I had only gone four miles, but when I was almost home, I was already passed the six-mile mark. I imagine with everything she is facing, in the difficult times that these are, I think she is tapping into something on the inside – and maybe something like me, it’s a surprise to her, too. And she’s finding out that she has more, is doing more, is at her own six-mile mark, when only a few were required.

The Un-Canceled Project, Part One ends on COMMITMENT.

I see what yall did there. I see.

Who’s Inspiring You? #AlmostCanceled

 What a week, yall.

Gratitude is Done. Hope has been checked off the list. We literally laughed out way through humor. And now we are here. Underachieving during the one week where I should have been primed for success. Inspiration.

It was almost cancelled.

I had grand plans of getting miles in each day, in honor of someone or something that inspired me. I started off with my mile+ loop Monday and Tuesday, but those were the hardest miles I ran this week. It felt forced, and contrived, which inspired me to, well, not do much running after that. For an experience that has had me planning running outfits, excitedly, to searching desperately for my running shoes Saturday morning. I planned to join friends for a group-Zoom run, but that 7:00am alarm? Just, no. I eventually got up and got out later in the day, and finished my miles on the treadmill and at Club MTV w/ D-Nice and later at #ClubQuarantine #AfterDark

EVEN THIS BLOG ENTRY IS LATE – and I love writing?! What is going on?

If my underachieving inspires you, then we have:

15k = 9.3 miles

Running (outdoor): 4.82 miles

Running (treadmill): 1.413 miles

Exercising: 62mins/3.061 miles

   [The Math: 9.3mi – (4.82mi + 1.413mi) = 3.061mi; 3.061mi x 20min = 61.22mins; 62 mins of exercise/physical activity]

3k = 3.1 miles

Running (treadmill): 3.429 miles

   [The Math: Well, D-Nice an’nem was partying with a purpose to raise money for UNCF (Donate! (if you can) and I was well, you know, looking for purpose… #HillmanCollege #Alumnae]

E-Boogie got that 5K in too! Done. Dedicated my inspiration run to my homey Ross that passed away on the 10^th. #prayers #love She also dedicated a run to my father, who passed around the time we were supposed to do the #RockNRollSD #HalfMarathonRelay. I love her for that, and other reasons… Like being my #someone in #california, who…, and still, reasons more.

But about this Inspiration thing…

Before I moved back to California, I came to the Bay Area for a visit. Literally, there was no big concert, or sporting event, or anything causing me to fly from ORF >> SJC other than the Bay Area is one of my homes, a beloved one. I was out to dinner with a friend who had recently began his running adventures. He dove into the deep in of the running pool where Spartan Races happen, and well, I still needed floaties for my running adventures. I was so proud of him, marveling at his Spartan Race series medal (one of three he was looking to earn). It reinvigorated my love and passion for running. Not so much to sign up for the mud, climbing, burpees, and fire, but enough to consider the next challenge. I will never forget what he said to me, after saying, You’re a smart girl, but that’s a dumb phone… #iLovedThatKeyboard lol

Somebody gotta inspire those that inspire [others].

Most of what inspires me is out of my daily reach. Before my father became present with the Lord, he was always 1000+ miles away from me. The spirits of the ancestors are among us, but we must search for them, for the things they left behind, for their faces, to remind of our why.

I went on and on thinking to all the people, all the places, all the things, for which I have an abundance of gratitude, for how they inspired me. It was only when I got home, I realized that he was saying something like, me, like I, was inspiring people, and he had to do the work to inspire me, so I could inspire others.

Before I started this week, ready to take on the pavement, each day, and give to all that inspired me, paying homage to him, for that moment, was not on the list. Maybe my inability to be great in the way I planned was about that. Was about finding that moment. Finding him. About doing something, that inspires someone else. About being on the giving end of inspiration, instead of taking (being) inspired.

It seems strange, hunh? To do something with the intention of inspiring others. Like you’re just THAT good. Scratch that, you’re just that damn great, and the world is waiting for you to have that Ilyana effect on them, because, in times like these, we need fixing! But what if it wasn’t that. What if it was an act of service, to those, who plow and till the lands which birth what inspires us? I imagine their yokes are heavy burdensome blessings…

Because honestly, when that memory of him came to me on Sunday, I was already past the 5K mark. (I was also jammin’ to D-Nice. I get my best thoughts when I run #inspired).

Good thing everybody knows…almost doesn’t count.

This week is all about COURAGE! How fitting…

Much Ado About Humor… #Yup #UnCanceled

We are on a roll (run) folks! What have we accomplished so far?

Well, Gratitude? Done. Then there was Hope. Got it. And this week, we un-canceled HUMOR, and it is right on time. It’s like Teddy Riley knew I needed to end this race week with a laugh, because yall have SENT ME with these memes, and tweets, and comments during the IG Live! Let me tell you, I. STAN. for each and every one of you. I’m not sure if I burned more calories during Saturday’s 15k or while watching the #VERZUZ that wasn’t Teddy Riley v Babyface unfold!

Anyway, you have my laughs and my thanks. And I offer in return this week’s race re-cap and HUMOR(ous) reflections!

 

10k = 6.2 miles

Running: 4.20 miles

Exercising: 40mins/2.0 miles

   [The Math: 6.2mi – 4.2mi = 2.0mi; 2.0mi x 20min = 40mins; 40 mins of exercise/ physical activity]

8k = 4.97 miles

Running: 4.02 miles

Exercising: 19mins/0.95 miles

   [The Math: 4.97mi – 4.02mi = 0.95mi; 0.95mi x 20min = 19mins; 19 mins of exercise/ physical activity]

3k = 3.1 miles

Running: 1.38 miles

Exercising: 35mins/1.72 miles

   [The Math: 3.1mi – 1.38mi = 1.72mi; 1.72mi x 20min = 34.4mins; 34.4 rounded up to 35 mins of exercise/physical activity]

Here's that 3.6 mi courtesy of my ZOOM Group Run!

15k = 9.3 miles

Running (outdoor): 4.9 miles

Running (treadmill): 3.6 miles

Exercising: 16mins/0.8 miles

   [The Math: 9.3mi – (4.9mi + 3.6mi) = 0.8mi; 0.8mi x 20min = 16mins; 16 mins of exercise/physical activity]

E-Boogie & Big Meek (on tha Block) are still rocking and running with me! This weekend, they were due for an 8k.

Big fun at #ClubElkGrove

…and then there’s me, over here kee’kee’n to myself, but honestly, everything is funny to me. I was on the phone with my child that I didn’t birth in Tennessee (who lives in Georgia right now and is pregnant #GrandbabyNumbah2, #ColeyColeHadGBabyNumbahOne) and we were having a very special mommie–daughter moment which was quickly interrupted with my text, R.I.P. to yo’ sleep tho reminding her that soon, she’ll have bags under her eyes caring for her baby girl. She went from crying (out of love and affection) to having the tears fall away into laughs. And there you find me. Laughing in, joking through, giggling because, of everything. Laughing, like running, has been therapy. I am thankful that as serious as life gets, I tend not to see it that way. Even the hard stuff, with a little time, transforms itself into a smile, and eventually some with some percentage of humor to it.

I thought, this week, to fill the posts with running jokes, kinda like the way E-Boogie made us laugh with the madness of running… But nothing compares to the HUMOR that was Saturday night! If you have ever helped a person from a generation prior to yours, understand the technology of the day (no shade, cause i’ve been that previous generation person HELLA times), then you know what it was like watching Take 1 of #VERZUZ, Teddy Riley vs Babyface. Babyface took Teddy out in three rounds with a nokia phone, dial-up internet, and 1^st generation headphones, yall. I live to achieve the levels of unbotherdness of Kenny! Black people and Black Twitter will always, and forever, be undefeated! #MastersOfTheUniverseOfJokes

Get ready for #VERZUZ Take 2 tonight, Teddy Riley vs Babyface! 5:00pm PST! I hope that it not only inspires more jokes, but that it connects us back to music that we loved, memories we had connected to those tunes, and gets us up and moving!

This week is all about INSPIRATION! Whoever, Wherever, Whatever inspires you, I hope you find some gratitude for it! LOL #seewhatididthere? #nerd

Cookies. [still] Ruling. Er'Thang. Around. Me. #ThanksHilton #SupervisionSuggested

Hilton: Sis, we saw on the innanets that you’re trying to glow up your baking skills, that’s what’s up! We proud of you!

Me: Yeah… Since I can’t go nowhere, and y’all just out here canceling people’s hotel confirmations like that, I figured I needed to do something with this free time. I mean, I’m not mad at y’all #COVID-19, but I’m bitter I can’t go nowhere.

Speaking of… We appreciate you not writing us one of those strongly worded letters about that cancellation. And just for that, we got something for you. Look at that right there...

Wait. This not what I think it is?

Girl.

Yassssss! Yall did this for me? I can’t believe this. Just for lil’ol’me?

I mean, it’s like all over the innanets, or whatever, but yeah…it’s just for you. I guess. *shrug*

LET’S BAKE!!!!!!! Hilton DoubleTree warm Chocolate Chip Cookies!

Step One: Cream butter, sugar and brown sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer on medium speed for about 2 minutes. 

Hey, soooooo, what’s a stand mixer?

Sis… *face palm* We thought you were baking? How you don’t have a stand mixer?

Uh, *shrug* ‘Cause I don’t know what that is?

What’s that over there?

It’s a hand mixing thing with those two spinning attachment things.

Just use that and get a bowl. We gon’ be here all day. Shoulda neva gave you this recipe.

Also, what type of cream should this look like? Butter cream? Sour cream? Cream of wheat? What am I aspiring towards?

Girl.

Step Two: Add eggs, vanilla and lemon juice, blending with mixer on low speed for 30 seconds, then medium speed for about 2 minutes, or until light and fluffy, scraping down bowl. 

Lemon juice in cookie batter? What kind of nonsense is this?

*side eye* But you ate the cookies though? You got a lot of questions for someone who eats like three of these cookies per day per stay. #WeBeenWatchingYou

Wow, fam. Like that? It’s just the ‘hot dog’ effect…

Just. Like. That. Now what’s the next step? Wait… The what?

You know, once you learned what hot dogs were made of, you had more questions – or concerns…

Whew, chile… *shakes head*

Step Three: With mixer on low speed, add flour, oats, baking soda, salt and cinnamon, blending for about 45 seconds. Don’t overmix.  

Okay, so about the oats. The recipe had said get rolled oats but the grocery store only had steel oats and these quick Quaker oats. Since the Quaker container had quick on it, I figured that was better than steel, so I got these. What you think?

We think, you think too much. Just… You know what… Just throw’em in there. *deep ancestral sigh*

Aye, you know, I always wondered if recipes really meant pinch the herbs or whatever and throw it in. Does a pinch really make a difference? Also, since this is the Era of COVID-19, I’mma just spinkle a lil’ cinnamon. I don’t wanna accidentally cross contaminate anything.

*turns and walks out of the kitchen* *looks for wine rack*

Step Four: Remove bowl from mixer and stir in chocolate chips and walnuts.

Okay, so I know you’re gonna get mad, but let me tell you. The store only had these mini chocolate chips. And well, there weren’t any walnuts, so I got pecans. The chocolate chips are semi-sweet though, soooo…

It’s your world, Love. I’m just here so I won’t get fined…for being outside…because of the whole, you know, Shelter-In-Place thing. *sips wine*

Step Five: Portion dough with a scoop (about 3 tablespoons) onto a baking sheet lined with parchment paper about 2 inches apart.

Wait a minute! You know what parchment paper is? You own a whole roll of it, and you got tripped up at stand mixer. Help me understand this! *arms outstretched*

Oh, yeah, about that. I thought it was foil. I grabbed the wrong thing. I saw a package in Italian, and I was trying to figure out the translation by comparing the packaging to the other stuff in the aisle and got distracted.

What does it say about me that your explanation makes complete sense to me and is not shocking or surprising at all? *sips more wine*

Step Six: Preheat oven to 300°F. Bake for 20 to 23 minutes, or until edges are golden brown and center is still soft. 

I can’t believe it! I did it! They’re in the oven, there’s baking happening in there! I’m so excited!

I can’t believe it either. Honestly and truly. *pulls blanket over legs and turns back towards the television*

Step Seven: Remove from oven and cool on baking sheet for about 1 hour.

 

This was awesome! And, while they don’t exactly taste like yours, they’re still pretty good.

*tastes cookie* You had a praying Grandmother, didn’t you? *smirks* I’m impressed!

Soooo, what are we baking next?

*sips wine* *pulls blanket over rest of body*

If you get the chance, give the Hilton Double Tree (warm) Chocolate Chip Cookie recipe a try! You might have to go to a few different stores to get all the ingredients you need, but it will be well worth it! Oh, and get you some vanilla ice cream too!

You’re welcome.