Ernie hasn’t seen The Matrix,
and I take issue to that, with extreme prejudice. This shouldn’t surprise me,
but c’mon! The Matrix?! I still remember walking back from Westwood with my
hommies talking about what we had just seen. We were all Neo, stopping the imaginary
bullets in our path, on our way up the hill.
I can’t with him, but I will.
Don’t judge how we love/hate/whatever it is we do.
Why do I bring this up?
Because I ASKED Y’ALL to close and lock up Iyanla’s house but noooooooo, yall
just wanna leave it all open and what not, and all this stuff keeps pouring out
of me. Thanks -_- so much.
But my man Morpheus was
slanging those pills:
You take the blue pill – the story ends, you wake up in
your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill – you stay in Wonderland, and I show you
how deep the rabbit hole goes.
 |
| Image from dawgonnit.com (April 2018) |
I would have done just as Neo,
even with Morpheus cautioning that all he was offering was truth, because I don’t
want to believe that fat meat comes with grease.
Now I know ALL THESE THINGS.
And when you know all these things you have to make some hard choices. You
know, be all moral and whatnot. I haven’t watched a professional football game
in two NFL seasons. I barely know who plays on what team these days. I quit
Chik-Fil-A knowing damn well how much I LIVED for those waffle fries and
nuggets. I don’t listen to those dudes from Chicago who make music because,
well, do I have to explain? I do my best to not assume one’s gender or pronouns
forcing myself to go against my male/female/boy/girl nature – I struggle with
this so much, but I would rather struggle with it, than oppress someone with my
cis-gender privilege. *queues
up Truth Hurts album
because there isn’t a song on the album entitled Truth Hurts so we just gotta
listen to the album and let the truth hurt our feelings*
My friend asked me about my
professional football protesting, in the wake of the settlement agreement
between the NFL and my man Kap. What happens now? I mean, they came to some
resolution, so the protest is over, right? Well… That would be right, if I was
protesting the NFL because of what they did to Kap and he was welcomed back to
the league, then yeah, it worked. Let’s watch. But remember that red pill I
took? What the NFL has done to Colin Kaepernick is absolutely disgusting,
settled or not. But when I went down this rabbit hole, there were all these
other issues that came up. Something is wrong with the NFL and I know that now.
I cannot un-know it. I cannot watch it.
I was in Lolli & Pops with
Jigs buying bougie boozy gummy bears. In my going back and forth with her, I
made statements assuming the gender of the employee assisting us with our
purchase. Seeing that I don’t whisper too good, this individual could have
clearly overheard my assigning of their gender. We completed our purchase and
walked out of the store. At the entrance, I realized what I had just done, and
made an immediate about face to apologize to the individual. After the apology
I confessed, I know better, I
need to do better,
and left. (Why am I like this?)
I understand Cypher better and
his reasons for betraying the crew of the Nebuchadnezzar. I am not sure which burden
is heavier: knowing the truth or having to tell it to someone. Regardless of
the weight, ignorance sounds pretty blissful these days. I loved my life as a
football fan and I know I can never have that life again. I’m so awkward asking
someone their preferred pronouns, not because of them or any other outside
influence – it just feels weird to me because I'm hardwired to Male/Female, which permeates my asking. I can’t listen to
any of ole’boy’s albums following The College Dropout because although he’s
cancelled, I cannot be asked to give up ALL THE THINGS – it’s just too hard,
Lord. Haven’t I been through enough??
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