Tuesday, November 4, 2014

I Really Cannot #Race15Medal14 #ChallengeMedal3

It hurts. Everything about running, half ass stretching, attempting to clear TSA with a bag of medals, and eat all the pasta before 10:00pm hurts. I had to go through TSA twice. Oakland didn’t want me to leave, so I had to go back through. My medals were too blingy and kept making the sensors go off.

This cannot be the life Jesus wanted for me.

I have never been so anxious the night before and morning of a race this year. And well, Happy Hour happened the night before a few of them. I woke up Sunday morning legitimately afraid. Then Batman, Ariel and a gottdamn suc trojan were in the living room ready for picture time. I don’t know where I am right now, but Go Bruins! #BruinsBish #BruinRevolution #WeDemBruins

Well, Race 14 is in the books, now it’s time for Medal 14. And this one is brought to you by Halloween and the City of Angels. The final installment of the #IRunTheCoast is Rock n Roll Los Angeles. San Diego & San Jose are distant memories. 13.1 miles stand between me and The California Takeover.

Start: In & Out costume? Pretty damn creative. I'm hungry. Dammit......I haven’t eaten anything. This can’t be good. Maybe I can sneak a snack from the…oh, my Corral is leaving…Oh, nevermind.

Mile 1: Trust your body. Take it easy… Man, downtown LA is sure looking nice since I lived here. There was a time when I wasn’t a runner that I would have been running down these streets. Funny how life does this… #ComesFullCircle #SameRunDifferentReasons

Mile 2: We’re getting oddly close to that junior college of an alleged institution where they say learning takes place. I don’t know about this.

Mile 3: The gottdamn Coliseum. What a cruel joke…this was obviously the “trick” part of the Halloween season. You mean to tell me I went through ALL OF THIS to run a circle around this? I cannot. I really cannot. Worst part? My medals are literally on the other side of this damn contraption. Dear Life, I hate you.

Mile 4: Um, I don’t feel so good. Perhaps I should stop. I feel like Ezell right now. My neck and my back are killing me! This sports bra (bras) is struggle is real.

Mile 5: Oh, so we just did a circle. Like we’re going back towards the way we came. Isn’t. That. Awesome? I know one thing, if this lady dressed like a referee doesn’t stop sprinting, then walking in front of me, there will be a personal foul. #AintNobodyGotTimeForYou

Mile 6: I hate you all. Why must you be so mean Jesus? I mean, I pray. I help old ladies across streets. I fast (well, I don’t grocery shop, but….you know what I meant…I don’t eat!). I can literally, like LITERALLY see the finish line from here. Fck it. I’m crossing of this gate. I’m getting my medal. I’m tired. I’m hungry. It’s getting hot. I’m over it.

Mile 7: Why am I here? And why is she here? Are those ski poles she’s got? Is she ski-running? Is that a thing? Man, they come up with the craziest stuff. I wonder if you get a special medal for it. Imma look that up when I finish. Maybe EBoogie will do it with me. I’m sure I can convince CJC to do it.

Mile 8: I wonder if I’ll be able to wear my heels tomorrow. They’re so cute. And that dress tho? The color is everything. OMG, it’s going to make my medals pop! Oh yea! Heck yea! #GetIt #MedalMonday #MaybeIShouldFocusOnRunningRightNow #JustAThought

Mile 9: Is that a bridge? As in an elevated part of this route? As in, I am going to be running upward? Hell to the naw. I’m turning around. This can’t be right. *experiencing real defeat*

Mile 10: There are seriously like 3 more miles. Why do I do this to myself? Man, the downtown LA skyline is nice. Let me take a picture real quick *calf muscles start throbbin* Ugh…fine, no pictures. I didn’t forget about what you said yesterday.

Mile 11: Where is that chick with the baby oil? I mean lotion. I mean, damn…what is the name of that stuff? Vaseline!!! Yes! That’s it! I need some of that. I have no idea where this itch on my arm is coming from, but I just can’t deal right now.

Mile 12: I’m going to eat every damn thing in sight. I don’t care what it is or who’s holding it. I, in this moment, completely understand cannibalism.

Mile 13: *Mali Music, Walking Shoes comes on* Wow. This is exactly why I’m here. Damn.

Mile (13)0.1: I feel faint. Not fake faint. Actual faint. I swear, if you fall down right now, right at this finish, I will never forgive you. I might not actually remember who you are because concussions are totally a thing. Point is, I WILL hang on to the memory of never forgiving you…whoever I remember you to be. See, I am getting lost in my thoughts right now. Why is this tenth of a mile So Long! OMG! Save me!

Finish: I can’t believe it. It’s really finished. I really did it. Like, for real. What in the world am I going to do now? Wait...open your eyes...Your Baby Mama is about to cross the finish line! Yassssss!!!! You go girl!!!

I did not plan it this way. I mean I did, because I registered for these races months and months ago. But to have #14in2014 end this way? It took 2 races, 2 locations, 2 start lines, and 2 finish lines to get my 14th race and my 14th medal. I spent the entire weekend running with friends and loved ones. As I finished my last race of the #14in2014, my dear friend was completing her first half marathon! Which is really what this was all about, right?

I guess. I did not know the purpose other than the medals last Winter as we Facebook chatted our way into a year of running for bling. I spent much of my time en route to race locations reflecting on this very thought; the purpose finally revealed to me by a song on my playlist.

Anyone who really knows me knows that my collection of music is, well, eclectic. It’s really hard to describe and I don’t try to explain the seeming contradictions that make up my running playlist. One of which is Mali Music. A newer edition to the running playlist…as it has evolved over time. As I made it to Mile 13, Walking Shoes came on. And that’s when I figured it out. This whole year was about the time spent in my (walking)running shoes…

I got my running shoes on and I could not have told you where I was going, when I decided to do all of this. I’ve run down many lonely roads, trails, streets, inclining paths and hills, and thank God for the scenery. It was beautiful. And something has been telling me that I need to keep on running…

And as I was running, I was thinking, this dude is literally singing, my actual life, exactly as it is happening, in the very moment. How can that be?

Every word, every word he sang revealed to me new meaning. I haven’t had a clue about what I have been doing these 10 months. I have literally been registering for races, telling friends about them, showing up, and taking Medal Monday pictures. That has been the extent of my investment. I said I was going to do 14 medal races, and it just so happened that on October 26th I completed what I set out to do. And I have been desperately trying to figure out the why. But, it’s not always about knowing why, sometimes it’s all about knowing what, and that's enough to keep you walking every day. #QuestionOneAnswered #ThanksMaliMusic

I have been so anxious this whole year. There were points that I attempted to figure out how I would spin my inevitable defeat. In the completely possible chance that I don’t get that 14th medal and race, what would I say? What would be the title of that blog post? How would I hashtag it? 14 running events was totally possible, but for me, it was just a dream that I ain't seen yet, chasing a dream that I ain't dreamed yet, but I'mma meet it halfway if I keep on walking. And I did. I kept on running. And then walking…when it hurt to run. I never stopped. Not one time. I always wondered why I would not stop. My mind said quit, but my body would not stop moving – no matter the pace. What I’ve been after wasn’t at the finish line. That was just the halfway point. There are still miles ahead of me. And my body is well aware of it. #Epiphany #Mali…SirYouAreGood

There are two keepsakes from this running experience to date. I am certain that more will be revealed to me if I do what Daddie always says and keep on living, right? Right.

First, even though all my times aren’t happy times…I never let it slow my pace. Most of my times are pretty slow, and as I continue to beat that dead stopwatch to the ground, the reality is, I may never beat any of those times I think are socially acceptable among runners. If that’s even a thing. I was too prideful to see that no matter the time, I kept moving. I never stopped. Not once. Not even this time when the finish line tempted me so much. That angry ginger headed lady marveled at my pace.

And second, always waiting for something good to find you, but if it don’t come what are you going to do? I mean really. Patience is virtuous, and there are some things in life that are worth the wait. But everything is not. And this was not. Being a good person is awesome. Being a static person is not. I have been waiting so long for some real happiness. I thought that being patient and steadfast in that position I was always in, that it would find me. It never did.

So, I’m just going to keep on running.

This Race: Rock N Roll Los Angeles, Half Marathon, Los Angeles  CA
Medaled Miles to date: 86.77 miles
Total Raced Miles to date: 99.87 miles 
0 Medals To Go ǁ 100% Complete
(Challenge Medal 3, 17 Medals ǁ 121% Complete)

You see, 13.1 isn't actually a number – it's a symbol. It means a lot more than thirteen miles and one-tenth. It's more than 30 songs on an iPod or 52.4 laps around a standard track. For many, it represents the destruction of a fear. For others, it's the greatest liberation they've ever felt. For me, it meant breaking a lot of negative cycles in my life and turning my power toward something progressive.

#MilesOverMatter #fromFrederickLMayesFBPost

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