Monday, November 3, 2014

Trust Your Body #Race14Medal13 #ChallengeMedal2

Remember that time I had this really awesome (not awesome) idea to run races on back to back days. I mean how could I have possibly learned anything from Doing The Double or San Jose earlier this month. I flunked the class that experience taught.

But I showed up every day. On time. In the front row. Taking worthless notes.

This was an awesome running weekend on paper though. Not only did it mark the “end” of #14in2014, it was the conclusion of 2 race series challenges. I Run The Bay  & I Run The Coast. Which have now been effectively dubbed, The California Takeover. #IOwnCalifornia

I’m the most amazing person you know. I was born excellent. Matter of fact, when I was born, my Mommie gave me a high 5. Because dammit I delivered myself in half the time! The fact that you know me shows not only that there is a Divine Being, but that He too wants you to be something special.

I am your example in life. Look upon me with all your wonder. I mean you’ll never actually be me, but aspire. I am physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally and intellectually unable to commune with you. Yet you love me, because I benevolently choose to exist in this world with you.

Now that we got that cleared up....let the running begin.

Start: Please, please, please don’t be a hero. After this you have to fly to Los Angeles and run again. Take it easy. Slow and steady gets the medal. Wait, is the path blocked by that hill right there? We have to run up that? #disrespectful

Mile 1: Um, okay. So another wilderness run. More kids running like they breathe through their pores. Why didn’t challenge myself to this 20 years ago?
#theymakeitlooksoeasy #theyhavdnolifestrugglesweighingthemdown #ihatechildren *Maleficient Mean Mug*

Mile 2: *older ginger lady and ginger kid approaches on the left* Did you do this race last year? To which I huffed, No....and then she goes.... You remind me of this woman last I saw year running. You've got a great steady pace. I couldn't keep up with her, and I thought you were her...and I said to myself, 'Im gonna beat her! Grrrrr'

*thinking* Did this lady just growl at me with her kid here? Man, running brings out the worst in people.

Mile 3: *my calf muscles finally get the memo about the weekend* FUM we gotta do this again?! Hell to the naw! Oh you stopping at every water station, and if you even think about stopping to take a picture mid run, you will NEVER wear heels again! *hangs head in shame*

Mile 4: That gottdamn hill again. Oh, and he is pushing a stroller up it. I don’t feel bad about myself. At all.

Mile 5: I’m over this. Like really. I feel like this is dumb and the fact that I’ve convinced other people that its fun is a sign that I’m in the wrong business.

Mile 6: I want some bacon. *ginger lady approaches* She might kill herself in front of her kid trying to keep up with me....and I’m slow.

Mile (6)0.2: That medal better be everything I remembered in March. #ItWasJustADream #QueueUpErro

Finish: I want to go home.

Not gonna lie, I felt a little defeated at the finish. I cannot get over the speed thing. I LOVE doing these kinds of events with friends, but I LOATHE that they always have to wait on me. As fast as I go, I’m still soooo slow.

I crossed the finish line, looking up for the exit to the Golden Gate Fields track. I reached for my medal, took my headphones off and saw them. Each one of my friends waiting on me. With their medals and their smiles...and the photographer. CJC said to her, We're ready to take our group picture now.

It’s hard to describe what that gesture meant to me. I was so overwhelmed by pure, genuine, loving emotions that I did what I do best. Avoid them. I turned my inner Leo up to the “hella extra” setting and went in. I couldn’t deal with those feelings. They touched at the heart of something really sensitive, something really vulnerable, something terribly difficult for me to accept.

I am a runner. I have the shoes, the bib, the tech tee and the nearly over-drafted bank account to prove it. But I don’t always feel like one. I don’t feel like I look like one, whatever that means, or that I can be counted into the brother/sisterhood of running because I’m not fast. It bothers me so much. It takes the fun out of it.

But not one of them seemed to care. At all. Not even a little bit. They didn’t seem to care about what time I finished. They only cared that I finished. I’ve been telling people all year that it only matters that they start and finish. I don’t care how they do it...all the medals look the same. I need to stop caring so much about how I do it. There are people who are inspired by it. Like this guy. What’s crazy is that my friends, the whole lot of them said the same thing to me on Saturday. I felt so much shame in that moment. When I read his words, I felt really tears began to swell in my eyes. I finally got it.

This Race: Let’s Go 510, 10K, Oakland CA
Medaled Miles to date: 73.67 miles
Total Raced Miles to date: 86.77 miles 
1 Medal To Go ǁ 93% Complete
(2 Challenge Medals ǁ 107% Complete)

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