Memory. I
remember that first half marathon experience so many ways. All of the emotion
of running my first half marathon ever. Being in one of the lowest points of my
(love) life and not really celebrating all I accomplished, because I couldn’t
see myself. But the beginning was what I remember most about it.
From ending…to
inception…
 |
| for. the. win! yasssssssss! |
I tend to make lots of phone calls while I’m in
the Dollar Tree. I mean this place is perfect for a student affairs
professional. You need a basket? Bubbles? Gift Bag? Party Favors? It’s a no
brainer – they’re all $1.00. Plus, I don’t do regular foil anymore, I prefer my
Reyonlds Wrap pre-cut sheets – so I go to Dollar Tree. Walking around “high on
ResLife” and “high on running” I called my best friend. That’s also a no
brainer. If there is a random thought running through my head, he’ll indulge
me. But this wasn’t exactly a random thought – this was a competition. See,
before Charlie Sheen was #WINNING, we were already all over that. We aren’t the
super competitive types that won’t speak to each other; we’re the perfectionist
competitive types that are really concerned with doing our very best. He
doesn’t care that I’m not a professional athlete – if we’re doing a 40-yard
dash, I better be in it to win it… I don’t care that he’s never taken an
Organic Chemistry class, he better be all over those protons, neutrons and
electrons.
The Challenge. Strip. The Strip. The Strip – At Night.
13.1 most awesomely fantastical miles down the Las Vegas Strip. It’s on. It
took me maybe 30 seconds to convince him to do this with me. The deal was done.
The conversation was over. My bougie foil was paid for.
We spoke irregularly about the race in between
infrequent text messages. I was heading to Las Vegas soon, so we’d really get
these details together when I got there, kiss my 2 god-daughters, and finally –
FINALLY meet his significant other. I was excited to meet the girls and nervous
to meet her. Not for anything that she’s done (or not done), but because it’s
me. The Female. The Female Best Friend. What in the world has he told her about
me? Blamed on me to get out of something? (because we’ve all done this to our
very best friends at one point – don’t you dare lie) What he hasn’t told her
about me? You just don’t know…and a woman, walking into another woman’s space
can be a recipe for disaster.
I’m back in Vegas baby!!! Not on the strip just
yet… Hanging out on the outskirts meeting his just about whole family. They
were gorgeous. Though I was so uncomfortable for the most part, I was so happy
to see my friend. The man who knows me better than any other man alive. There
is this overwhelming sense of peace and calm that envelops me when I am with him.
I’m less worried, less anxious, less everything that I don’t need to be.
We sat on that couch, my family, chatting about
random things. Which of course lead the discussion of how I was going to leave him
in my tracks when I crossed the finish-line. The conversation was as
unassembled like a 1000 piece puzzle. We talked about what I was going to wear,
how long the race was, the training plan for it, the dance I was going to do at
the finish line, and how it would be hella cool to run, stop by a casino, and
get a drink every few miles. I could not have been happier. To do a half
marathon, in Las Vegas, in the evening, with my best friend in the whole wide
world running with me (part of the way…yea, we definitely were not going to be
able to keep the same pace, he’s a professional athlete and my chest is the
size of a small child).
Then she spoke. As innocently has his daughter
speaks to him. Well, maybe not exclusively innocence, like 80% innocence, 20%
message. That damn 20%. So it seems (things he conveniently didn’t tell me)
that his significant other has always wanted to do a marathon and/or running
type event with him. She didn’t seem to have as much luck with getting him on
board with the idea as I had. Like I was then going to say anything about the
30 seconds it took me to get a verbal agreement from him. Nope, just like a
man, unsure of how he got to this point in the relationship where he obviously
did and/or said something wrong, I shut up.
The conversation ended amicably… After all, to her,
I was still more or less company, and she wasn’t going to show her spots about
this – at least not yet or to me. It wasn’t my fault, or was it? I gave him the
“how dare you put in the middle of that”
side eye. And then, just like Chrisette, I had my epiphany. It was clear –
crystal clear to me. And before I could speak the truth in my storm, I had to
let my best friend have it for his.
There is no problem with a man and a woman being
best friends. I realize this thought strikes many people as odd, if so, this
means, this isn’t for them. You can’t do it. If you think it’s odd, then you
have doubt, and you can’t enter into a relationship like this doubting. I’m not
going to say something silly like, “to
me, he is just a guy” or anything like that. My best friend is super fine –
if I met a man like him on the streets that wasn’t him, that fool could get it.
He’s a great guy, he has a good heart, he’s smart, he makes me laugh, and he
really gets me. These are all great qualities for a mate. But they are also
perfect qualities for a friend. And that is what he is to me. It wasn’t meant
for us to be together – and while I don’t say that to test God, I just say that
to say, today, we aren’t that.
But herein lies the rub. I can get him to do just
about anything with me. And much like my father’s love, I dare not abuse that.
We like to compete – so if one of us lays down a challenge, the other is
accepting, bottom line. It’s more than our pride though. We’ve seen each other
through some really amazing times, and we’ve had to stand beside each other all
by ourselves. We know things about each other we’ve only told each other,
things we have entrusted to each other that we’ve never spoken aloud. We have a
very special connection. Something many people may not ever really understand.
And we really don’t care. We are who we are.
It was crystal clear! She doesn’t hate me. She
can’t hate me; she doesn’t know me. And the reality is, it’s a rare person that
actually “hates” me. Who doesn’t love a Leo? But what she will hate, or
dislike, or what will always give her pause, is that there is a woman (no
matter the relationship) that can convince her man to do something, to go
somewhere, to get something, to say something…there is this woman who is
connected to her man in a way that she will never be – because he has a female
for a best friend.
Memory. He didn’t
run that race with me officially that day. But I would not have finished
without out him convincing me to start. And every time I thought about
quitting, I thought about him. It was literally the only thing that kept me
going. Not the music, the water, the gu, or the thought of a hot shower. It was
him. I’d like to think that I ran that first half marathon for myself. It sure
started out that way – as something for me. But it was all for him. It was a
gift to him. A sign that I was on my way to finding myself again.
And he loved it.
I went back to
Vegas in 2013 and did it for myself.
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