I Hate Jigs #TurkeyTrot2k15

I hate Jigs. Like I maybe liked her at one point in my life, but now? This point? Nope. #choices

Running is one of the most amazing, torturous experiences that have embarked on. Challenging in the best ways. And the perfect yin to my sweet potato pie binging yang. I have learned so much about myself and my will to achieve in these few years.

Like, the fact that: I. Hate. Running. In. The. Cold.

Which leads us back to my first statement. I hate Jigs. See, why did she have to be so wonderful and so lovely, and so good to me, and have a birthday, and get me all excited about running the Turkey Trot (again), and seeing her cross the finish line again. It’s all her fault!

Like why in the world would the sky gods allow the temperature stick to get below 40°? That is not the proper weather to be in a mood to give thanks. Like what am I thankful for below 40°? The warmth I have yet to lose?

Running in the cold is stupid. Happy Birthday Jigs.

START: I’m pretty sure I am in the wrong corral. Not on purpose like Vegas. Definitely on accident like I’m not moving away from the start line just to find the right corral. Nope. #MoreChoices

Mile 1: Take me away in a manger it is cold out here. Who turned off Nana’s heater to the Bay Area? Hace frio homey! Hace. Frio.

Mile 2: I don’t want to do this. I really don’t.

Mile 3: I have 3.2 miles left. I wonder how I would have figured that out using Common Core Math?

Mile 4: I always regret not taking the turn off for the shorter distance race at this point. What is the mile point exactly? *looks over at the Nike run app on the arm of the lady next to me* Eh. 4.7? I’m a quitter at 4.7miles – who knew?

Mile 5: I’m can’t believe I have been running this long and my body hasn’t warmed up. Like in my core, it’s like Elsa shot me with an ice dart or something. I want to build a snowman.

Mile 6: Those people look like they’ve finished. Naw, they were probably just out here supporting a friend or something. They don’t have medals around their necks. Like, why would they leave a race (like my sister) without their medals?

Mile 6(0.2): Oh my God. Are there no medals?!?!?!! I did not just go through that for NO. FREAKIN. MEDAL!!! Oh Hell Naw!!!!

FINISH: This is the worst race ever. I really hate Jigs.

And even though I knew, I traversed the Finish Line Festival feverishly looking for a medal. Because, who would spend their Thanksgiving morning NOT eating everything, out here running, and return home with nothing. It was like my very own grail quest…but there no clues, no signs, not markers that I was almost there. Nothing.

I mean, last year I left here with a medal. I was the talk of Thanksgiving Dinner! And by talk of Thanksgiving Dinner, everyone talked about how crazy I was to go running at the dinner table. Like I said…the talk of Thanksgiving! How can I have that kind of greatness without a medal Lord God??

I wandered aimlessly. So disappointed. I tried! I legit tried to do well at this race even with the cold! It was like a #LasVegasRedeption. I mean, the #ColdRainyWind without the #RainyWind. I can be great now! Well, greater than I was in Nevada at least. But no. I work all hard. Run all fast (read: not quite slow, but…). All for what?!?!! #NoMedal

Look, it’s like this. It’s not that every race I run HAS to have a medal. It’s just that, if I get out there and run, I’m expecting one, so, even if I’m the only person you give a medal to, that’s what you should probably do. My sense of accomplishment and validation that I am someone special is directly correlated with the shine of the bling about neck. And I have none. *wow…my future husband has his hands full…I am kind of a mess…welp*

…and since I’ve said nicer things about bad hair cuts, high gas prices, and shoes that give you bunions, I’ll just end with that.

Stupid Turkey Trot. #iHateJigs

#15ThingsIn2015 Challenge

5 new states (Louisiana, Texas – 2 down, 3 to go) #iShouldWorkOnThisOne #2MonthsLeft

4 new friends (OldieButNewbie #RunningHubby; My Child; WickedWineRunCrew (6 people!); Ragnar Napa Valley (10 people!); Cuzzo; NotQuiteTwinSister & BruinBuddy – 22 down)

3 new running events (Shamrock Half; St Charles Road Race; Orange County Half; Wicked Wine Run; Ragnar Napa Valley; Let’s Go 510…5k; Monster Dash 5k – 7 down)

2 back-to-back running events (Rock N Roll San Jose 5K & Half; Ragnar Napa Valley & Let’s Go 510…5K, Rock N Roll Las Vegas 5K & Half, 3 down)

1 Half Marathon PR (Rock N Roll San Diego Half! 6 minutes!, Rock N Roll Las Vegas 5K – 35 seconds to spare! – 2 down!)

1 Run A Race Without A Medal Because I Guess That’s A Thing Now -_- (SJ Turkey Trot 2015, 1 down)