Death Of Taco Tuesday #Race9Medal8

Um, it happened.

So the homey Alicia maKeykey (Eboogie) has told me about this amazing race that she does in San Francisco each year. Bay To Breakers. It’s just the bee’s knees, right? Right. All the kids are running it, right? Right. You know you want a shiny medal, right? RIGHT!!!!

One groupon later, I’ve signed up for my 8^th medal of the year. It was actually perfect timing. This was a great run to do as I prepare for my first half of the year in just a couple of weeks. As I arrived to San Francisco via the scariest Caltrain ride I’ve ever been on (yea, that’ll definitely be another post #socialjusticework), I found my way to the starting area for the race.

Pretty much sums up my Bay To Breakers experience.

And a man was hit in the head by a taco. Well not a fully grown up taco with all the fixin’s, but a fledgling tortilla shell with all the hope and promise for the future. Why Lord?!?!?!?! There’s a Taco Tuesday somewhere who needed that perfectly round corn tortilla to make some person’s happy hour dreams come true. Like me. I needed him to grow up and be great. A really great fish taco with that delightful cabbage & pico salsa.

I turned away, to mourn the loss of that fish taco that would never be, only to see the most disgusting naked man ever made. Eeeeewww. It was just hanging there. All defeated and deflated. All pale and pathetic. I wanted to tell him that he should probably get his prostate checked, because that’s the Christian thing to do, and it was Sunday…but I had no hand sanitizer, so yea, there’s that.

And Self said to Myself, “Myself, that’s probably the worst thing you’ll see today. After “The Hellified Caltrain Ride”, “Death of a Taco”, and “50 Shades of Old & Gray Genitalia” right over there, there will be nothing else that will ruin your race experience.”

And Myself replied to Self, “Self, I think you’re right. Let’s do this!”

I was like, “Yall trippin…” as two men passed me in kilts. #noshirts #justskirts #whereareyourdamnpanties 

START: All these innocent tortillas. I’m so sorry… *runs over them*

Mile 1: This isn’t so bad. I mean, SF is not flat, but so far this first mile has been a breeze. Oh that’s a penis. Oh, Okay… *runs faster*

Mile 2: Dammit! How many of these pasty pale things am I going to run into?!?!?!?

Mile 3: FUM Challenge? I got a regular race entry. I did not pay or sign up for this Hayes Hills Challenge. I am not here for this hill. Which way is the regular race route? Oh, there isn’t one? We all have to go up this hill? Damn.

Mile 4: Ion even know where I am right now.

Mile 5: The Church of 8 Wheels!!! Yall better get it out here! Yea, it’s about time for me and Meesh to go roller skating again!

Mile 6: OMG! What a beautiful waterfall. How have I never seen this?! #GoldenGatePark #Selfie

Mile 7: Hey! Did you know that you’re running a race? I just thought I’d let you know. I mean, all the photos are great, but the purpose is to finish. FYI. As in, start the race, run the race, and finish the race.

End: Oh. I just went from one side of SF to the other. Breakers meaning coast. Yea. That. #ImSooooSlowSometimes

Bay To Breakers was one of the happier runs of 2014! Everyone seemed so excited to be there. So much preparation into their race day outfits… Costumes. Friends. Laughing. Even the Nekkidness. They prepared *why Lord* to be nekkid. And though so many innocent tortilla shells met a fate worse than hot frying oil, and I’ve seen so many things that I will have to google later to understand, it was done in the name of running…for fun! I don’t know about 2015 though.

This Race: 12K, Bay To Breakers, San Francisco CA

Medaled Miles to date: 35.07 miles

Total Raced Miles to date: 48.17miles

6 Medals To Go ǁ 57% Complete