We Are Spartans... #Almost #ThisAugust #ImNotSmart

If you don’t believe peer pressure is a real thing, then you:

a)    …are an only child who was home schooled prior to social media.

b)    …don’t have a single friend. Not even on one of the readily available internets.

c)     …don’t log on to GChat while at work.

I swear, some of the dumbest idea’d stuff I’ve ever idea’d or agreed to, was confirmed in a gchat with one of my “friends”. I call them “friends” because either they’re posing as friends, or we define the word “friend” differently.

You have no idea what you just agreed to do. #Gotcha

So, in this last gchat session, we have my “friend” CJC. Yes folks, she’s back again. Usually she is on the receiving end of a dumb idea I’ve idea’d, but not on this day. Nope. As it would take too long for you to read our entire gchat…and you would probably lose your job from the uncontrollable emotion coming from your #waitforit, office, I figured I would share a couple of pieces of the exchange...

Wanna read it? Here it go…

CJC: So………(I should have known something was up with all that extra punctuation) you know how you always said you wanted to run a Spartan race? Uh no. Actually, I don’t. …you get free admission to the race… Okay, I’m listening. Maybe this was something I always wanted to do. …so I and YOU do it for free???? You down???? I don’t know what this is, but it’s free. Of course I’m down.

CJC: The sprint is only 3+ miles…we can do it! You’re right! I can do 3 miles. *somehow, I forgot there was a “+” next to the 3 miles*

Me: *clearly sold on this idea with only the aforementioned information* Do we get medals?

CJC: HUGE ONES *I’m SOLD!* …and the right to brag that you are a Spartan…only the cool kids get to do that. Wait. I am cool. You damn right I gotta do this! You’re an amazing friend CJC. I absolutely love you.

You know how to "skip", right?

*oh, I’ve already signed up before I know anything about the medals or being a cool kid for doing this, or what the “+” means next to the 3…in case you were wondering about that*

CJC: So let me tell you…I am sore as hell right now from the training…get familiar with burpees, push ups, sit ups…that kind of stuff…LOL.

Me: *You’re sore from the training…that’s odd? Um, I don’t drink soda really, so I’m not sure what you mean about that burping thing… Push up? Sit up? Wait, what the F is this? I don’t see anything funny in this gchat.*

Me: I can’t just run? *I mean, this is a medal race, right? #14in2014, right?*

CJC: Girl…you wish! Running is the FURTHEST thing on your mind.

*insert Real Tears here*

Me: *crying from my side of the internet* Is there a training plan or something?

CJC: Yeah…you wanna know the one I did last year or the real one? *WTF?! They make knock off training programs for this –ish? #ICANT*

CJC: Can you climb a rope? Crawl under barbed wire? Scale a 6 foot wall? If you don’t do an obstacle, you have to do 30 burpees.

Me: *No. Why? You can’t be seriously asking me that. I DON’T DRINK SODA! What is with this burping nonsense!* cries, just a little *googles burpee: Um, do 30 WHAT?!?!!?!? I’m an idiot*

*by this time I’ve emailed Alicia maKeykey about it and tagged her in a post on Facebook…she comments back about there being a BBQ at the event because she saw a picture with fire*

Me: *scared out of my mind* There’s no fire? Right? O_o

CJC: I am so glad that you sign up first…then ask questions. *Dear UCLA, I have done nothing with that degree you gave me. Signed, Idiot.*

Me: Flames? *as in there are multiple flames* You not about to have me looking like MJ! I have a perm!

CJC: The flames aren’t that high. It’s a small pit honestly. Honestly? Honestly you are out of your gottdamn mind! That’s me, being honest.

*I’ve finally gotten the bright idea to get BACK on the website and look at the FAQ’s*

I'm an idiot. An idiot who's not done yet.

We have signed up to do a SPARTAN RACE. More specifically, the Spartan Sprint. The Spartan Sprint is a 3+ miles run with 15+ obstacles. The organizers of this event state that there is fire, mud, water, barbed wire, and occasionally Hell on Earth… Oh, okay. That’s all? I guess I’m supposed to not feel any kind of way about that last thing, because it happens on occasion and not all the time and I’m saved? Oh. Okay.

Somehow, this is a sprint because it only contains 15+ obstacles. Which isn’t a lot. Because 15+ isn’t a large number at all. Because it is the least amount of obstacles in a Spartan Race. Yeah, sure. Okay.

It also happens that my “friend” CJC has done one of these events before. Remember when I said that this was the Sprint? As in the shortest distance and least amount of obstacles? Yeah. She did the Beast. As in, first there’s the Sprint (3+ miles, 15+ obstacles), then there’s the Super (8+ miles, 20+ obstacles) and completing the trifecta (because you’ve got all the time in the world to do this 3 times in a calendar year) is the Beast (12+ miles, 25+ obstacles). There is even an Ultra Beast. But when some brave soul inquired if they were tough enough to do it, the response was probably not. I’m pretty sure that’s not supposed to be okay. But, okay.

Did I mention my CJC did the Beast first?

I did?

I’m not okay.