Alice In Wine-derland #WereAllCrazy #ALittleBit

<< Third Leg #HowTheWestWasRun

Ragnar Napa was an amazing experience. Like, I was super fortunate for the lovely ladies from #RagNoirSistahs to allow me into the running fold. I mean, super fortunate. I had no idea what I was getting into, and honestly, as it was happening, I was pretty damn clueless. But through it all, I had a community of awesome women right beside me.

Like super awesome. So much so, there were 2 teams. I got the unique and distinct pleasure of running with 23 other fabulous females! I can’t wait to do it again. Really. *neck scratch* Uh, when we signing up for the next one boss?

Trust. If you don’t trust any other process, you HAVE to trust that this is going to work. A Ragnar Relay isn’t something you can figure out from a website. It’s not even something you can piecemeal from survivor testimonies. You literally HAVE to be there. The Ragnar experience works. It really does. Your leg is hard because that’s the best part of it. It’s supposed to be hard. Because, what will you tell those who come after you?

Communication. For a person like me who oscillates between not being in touch with her feelings and not wanting to talk about them, sharing a SUV on a 36 hour relay isn’t exactly the best place to be…at all. You have got to talk to people. I was so disappointed when I rolled my ankle. I got the team super off pace. I could hardly walk. It was hot as Summer Jam in Hell, and quite frankly I was over it. Runner12 asked me if I was going to get out of the SUV to greet the next runner in. I finally shared with her that I was afraid to put any weight on my leg. She then asked me what I needed. I almost said nothing. But I was honest with myself, then with her. I need some ice. I’m afraid it’s going to swell. I’m not sure why I was even hesitant to say something. But, she came back with ice and a smile. #NamingMyNeedsIsSoHard

Plan. You’ve got to have a plan. Like you need to anticipate all of your potential needs because once you get out there, that’s it bro. As I was packing my clothes in my gallon zip lock baggies with dryer sheets, I came across my ankle compression sleeve. I thought to myself, you never know, might as well and nonchalantly packed it. When my teammates from Van 1 were checking in on me, one mentioned, how’s your ankle? Oh, you must have ankle issues come up? To which I replied, well, not since I had the bad sprain a couple of years ago. I’m not even sure why I packed it because I haven’t used it – glad I did tho.

Just Run. Like seriously. There is nothing else you need to do other than what you signed up to do. Run! Everybody around you is doing it. Go as fast as your body will allow you, and enjoy every second of it. Because once you pass that slap bracelet to the next person, you are going to miss it – almost instantly. And there aren’t any mile markers out there anyway, so you’re not even going to know where you are in your leg…until you hit that “One Mile To Go” sign…so you might as well get there as quickly as you can. #CatchMeIfYouCan #MostPeopleDid

Fun. If you don’t know how to have fun, then don’t bother. There was so much. From the hilariously decorated vans. To the smiling faces at the exchanges. The super creative costumes. And the upbeat attitudes. This is first and foremost for fun! If you can’t get over your issues (minor ankle boo-boo) and find some happy, then you’re just wasting your time. It’s one of the things you have to pay to do this. You have to pay in cash money and laughs. Both are due. Like at the finish line. When you’re spent. And the host plays “Tootsie Roll” as your team comes in. Effin Turn The Eff Up! Worry about your woes on the ride home.

I’m always so surprised by what these running experiences teach me. It’s like I’m waiting on it to fail me. Like I’m going to get out here and somehow at the end of it, I’m going to seriously think this was the worst thing I ever did.

I’m grateful (to myself for a change) that I did not let my fear of the unknown keep me from this. Kind of like that time I camped (that I’ll tell you about one day). There are all these things that people don’t believe I can do…I sometimes agree with them. Then I do it. And it feels like the easiest thing that a person could do. And I forget what made it so hard. It’s crazy.

Crazy. Let’s face it. 36 hour running relay? We’re all a little bit crazy to do it. Then plan to do it again. #2016 #TheYearOfRagnar #StraightRunningSoCal #WeGotMilesOnIt

First Leg - #WorstPaceScenario >>

Second Leg - #RunNightStand >>

Third Leg - #HowTheWestWasRun >>

#15ThingsIn2015 Challenge

5 new states (Louisiana – 1 down, 4 to go) #iShouldWorkOnThisOne

4 new friends (OldieButNewbie #RunningHubby; My Child; WickedWineRunCrew (6 people!); Ragnar Napa Valley (10 people!) – 18 down, -12 to go)

3 new running events (Shamrock Half; St Charles Road Race; Orange County Half; Wicked Wine Run; Ragnar Napa Valley – 5 down, -2 to go)

2 back-to-back running events (Rock N Roll San Jose 5K & Half; Ragnar Napa Valley – 1.5, 0.5 to go)

1 Half Marathon PR (Rock N Roll San Diego! 6 minutes! – 1 down, 0 to go)

How The Rest Was Run. Leg 32, 10:00am(ish)

<< Second Leg #RunNightStand

Running is stupid. I mean, really not an intelligent thing to do in a Van with 5 other people, with limited showering ability.

I woke up from that second leg of the race like “why”? Why am I here? Why is this a thing? Why am I so stiff, yet comfy? #CamoOnesie Why am I so excited to see the medal? Why do I do things like this for medals? With $200, I could actually go out and buy one. Why do I pay people, to in turn earn medals? Is this the meaning of life?

Yes. Yes it is. This is your purpose. Run it.

I’m in go mode by this point. We’ve gotten to the last major exchange. We have put together a solid game plan to finish in style (and time), and it’s Go Time! Let’s get it.

Leg 32: 3.40 Miles. Easy.

But breakfast. So how about we get these eggs, and bacon, and toast with the grape jelly, first? Yea, that’s a great idea. Because you haven’t been sleeping in a car for a day and a half, and you’re totally not about to go run a 5K+. You should definitely eat breakfast then run. That’s literally the smartest thing to do at this point in time. -_-

Good Grief. It’s like I make this stuff up sometimes.

In that first mile, I really considered giving up. I was running sickly on the corner next to a bank and a grocery store. I had this really great idea to go to the bank. Get some money. Got to the store. Buy all of the things. Then sit down. Because yea, health.

Too bad my wallet just passed me in the SUV with my 5 running lady friends, cheering me on to the next exchange point.

I hate my life.

Welp, let’s get these miles. If you wanna rest, it’s on the other end of this leg of the race. Okay, resurgence of energy. Wobble perfected. Let’s make it happen. After the light changes. Because we’re not running across this street. Because that’s a highway on-ramp. And, life. It’s a thing I’ve gotten accustomed to.

As I am making my way across a street. A man, in car with other people, is attempting to negotiate a left turn to the highway. At the same time that I am attempting to get across the street. With a CHP car *with the lights on* to the right side of both of us. Me, in the middle of the street, about to be hit, with a cop car less than 100 yards away.

…and if you guess that nobody helped me, you are correct. #BlackRunnersMatter

But at that point, I was like eff it. That medal ain’t even all that shiny anyway. It’s not worth it being hit by a speeding car when I could have just walked into one of these vineyards and treated myself. Eff this race. Eff Ragnar. Eff these stupid blue directional signs. Eff it all! I’m out!

And by out, I mean, I’m just going to run my disgruntled self right along this path because I’m not about that giving up life #ItsSoHardToDo #WhenYouReallyLoveMedals #ThatWasAMovieSongReference. As much as I want to be a defector, I’ve got 11 other lady running friends waiting on me so they can get their greatness – that’s not fair.

One Mile To Go: This was amazing! I can’t believe it’s almost over. Lemme get a good selfie with this sign. I mean, I hate it’s about to end, but I do want it to well, end. So I’m conflicted. But maybe I should be conflicted and run? I’m getting killed. *runner smiles and passes me up*

With a slight attitude adjustment, and a strong desire to “sat down” somewhere, I made it to the Exchange point. The most disrespectful part of it all? My leg was super flat. Like super duper flat. Except well, the end. As in, the very last portion of it. You know, the part you had to run all the way up to, to meet your runner?

Fuh-K.

Ragnar Napa – 200(ish)miles

Leg 8: 7.0 miles R

Leg 20: 3.5 miles R

Leg 32: 3.4 Miles R

Run-Night-Stand. Leg 20, 1:00am(ish)

<< First Leg #WorstPaceScenario

After 7.0 miles on a bum ankle, seeing Chipotle was like an angel descending from the heavens with news of the 2^nd coming of the King. I mean, all my troubles went away. I even had a little pep in my wobble. I suppose it also helped that I had my Camo Onesie too. You could not tell me I wasn’t the dopest Ragnarian out there?! Seriously, you couldn’t. 2 vans stopped me at different times that day to tell me just how fly I was in my Camo Onesie.

So, this is the part where you hoe-bath, because that’s a thing. You get what’s called a shower pill, or in my case, Huggies baby wipes…and use these to wipe away the disappointment of a wobbling 7.0 mile performance. Bro, like seriously. You find a place to wipe it all away, then sleep. Sometimes in the parking lot on the ground. If you’re me, it’s in the SUV…because you ain’t about that camping life.

If your friends are members at 24 hour fitness, you well…sign up for a guest pass and take a real shower. Because, remember…you were never about this life. You aren’t made for changing a tire in a parking lot. What made you think you could survive this?

A medal. That’s what. A medal made you think you could survive this.

That shower tho at 24 Hour Fitness was everything! I mean, like every itty bitty thing. Thank Ya Jesus! Now I can sleep – in the back of the SUV – in peace.

And that was some of the best sleep I ever had. In the time I slept, Van 1 has just about completed all of their miles. We were at the 2^nd major exchange, awaiting Runner 6 (Leg 18) to hand off to Runner 7 (Leg 19) again. I woke up to the sounds of women talking about, well, running.

My eyes opened. I looked left and right. Nothing looked familiar. I was cautious not to make any sudden moves. The voices were unrecognizable. And I thought to myself, what the eff did you do last night? Like where the eff are you? Dude, you need to get your life together. Like seriously.The way my life is set up. This isn’t even an off occurrence.

Then I realized that I was in the middle of Ragnar Napa. And that I must live a completely random life to wake up in my camo onesie with a huggies baby wipe balled up in my hand and be that damn confused about how I got there. I felt like I was in an episode of Criminal Minds or some ish. SMH.

Leg 20: 3.40 Miles. Easy.

I’m pretty sure they were thinking this was an easy leg for a person who hadn’t rolled their ankle on 7.0 miles inclining upwards into the heavens. I mean, it wasn’t difficult, but the control one has to have to keep their ankle stable in the wee hours of the morning? I’m not built for that. I spent the first mile super nervous that I was going to fall down because it was pitch black. And just like Vin, when the lights were out, it was like nothing was there. Soon as the headlamp came on, there were random runners everywhere!

Halfway through the path, I got to a similar crossroad as I did in Leg 8. There was a sign indicating that we should cross the street. But, once across, there was no sign in sight nothing which direction we should go next. There was another runner coming up to the corner experience the same confusion. We both broke down. Not in tears or anything. Just a real ass moment of honesty.

Uh, do you know which direction to go?

Lady, I’m not the best person to ask. I got lost earlier today.

Me too. *sigh*

Eventually, smarter, less directionally challenged runners got to this crossing. They seemed to be more informed about the next steps so we followed them. I figured I’d not worry too much about kills¹, and perhaps just follow the group as to not get turned around again. Like who would believe I’d get lost twice? Everyone would. But still. #ThatsNotThePoint

One Mile To Go: Praise the Lord! I’m not sure me and this headlight are going to make it any further! I’m about to beast this last mile. Eff a knee and an ankle. I’m done with this. *kill*kill*kill* Outta my way! My seat in the back of that SUV is calling!

It was awesome though, aside from the pain, running in the middle of the night. The cool air. The gentle breeze. Empty streets. Street lights and blue directional signs marking the path like a grail quest. The path was alive! And I made my way to the Exchange without a single complication – or wrong turn.

Cause I’m Smart.

…and hella sleepy. I hope they kept my spot in the SUV warm. Cause a negro about to put that camo onesie back on and catch a few more of those zzzzz’s!

Ragnar Napa – 200(ish)miles

Leg 8: 7 miles R

Leg 20: 3.4 miles R

Leg 32: 3.4 Miles

¹kills: points you get for passing a runner during your mileage…there is no feeling like the one that you have when you have just enough energy and oxygen to pass the unsuspecting runner ahead of you. 

Third Leg #HowTheWestWasRun >>

Worst. Pace. Scenario. Leg 8, 11:00am(ish)

Well, I did it. I said I wanted to do this awesome running thing called Ragnar, so months and months ago, I gave away my money.

…and went out about my life. Because, that’s what I do. I sign up for awesome running events. Get supper geeked. Tell er’body what I’m doing. Then, get back to my stressed out life of running, blogging, working, and happy hour’ing. Because, you only get one life…so you might as well get busy living it alive, right?

Well, once October 1^st hit, I knew that I was going to have to get my mind right. Because I signed up to ride in a large(ish) SUV with 5 other running lady friends and run 3 legs of a relay race. You know, effectively camp and run…at the same (damn) time.

Bruh.

You’d think I didn’t even know myself. Because I be signing up for ridiculous stuff. This dumb idea’ing knows no end. Like none.

Friday, 4:55am *knock*knock*on my bedroom door*knock*knock*

Hey, aren’t you supposed to be up? For your race thing?

*meeeeehhhh* OMG! OMG! It’s 5:00am! I'm late! I’m late! I’m Late #ForAVeryImportantDateWithRunning

That’s pretty much how the morning started. 95% packed and ready to do, and up about 45 minutes later than I anticipated. Yo, these late nights and early mornings are no good for runners. Especially first time Ragnarians. And, if you don’t make it on time, you won’t be a Ragnarian, honey. Get to it!

Oh yea, by the way, you left your bag for Sunday at your apartment. Good Luck with figuring that one out hun. Good Luck.

Leg 8: 7.00 miles. Very Hard.

Yo, I am so nervous right now. Like literally. Where is my Daddie at? I need a hug for real. Have I properly hydrated? Are my shoes on the right feet? Did I put deodorant on? OMG, I need a living trust! How will all of my godchildren know what wonderful stuff of mine that belongs to them? I can’t. I really can’t. Is it time for the rapture?

Get yourself together. I mean, how difficult could “very hard” be anyway? I mean, it’s a volunteer sporting event. Like they’d make it that difficult? #yes #yesTheyWould #VeryHardIsNotYourLaneBoo

So, as the Math Major came in from a fabulous performance on Leg 6 of the relay, she gave me some helpful advice on my way to my van for the drop off.

Pay attention to the directional signs girl. I saw like 4 people go the wrong way. Follow those blue signs! Be careful.

Okay, got it. Follow the blue signs. Whatever you do, do whatever it says on the blue sign. Got it.

We were stuck in traffic, so by the time we made it to the exchange for my leg, our runner was already there. I hated that so much! We were supposed to have a flawless exchange that was not scripted, but totally looked that way on the camera, right? Anyway, she gives me a slap on the wrist with the armband, and I’m off.

…in the wrong direction. Yes. I’ve messed up already. In the first 0.01 mile of this leg. I am going in the wrong direction.

That’s okay though. Turn around. Get it back. You got this.

I’m off again. I’m feeling good. It’s a little warm, but you know, that’s a thing. Keep going. Sure it’s gonna get warmer. No matter that. Just keep running.

See a “Turn Left” sign….well, turn left and, you guessed it… Just. Keep. Running.

Down the wrong way. Of course they meant turn to the left of the street and keep going straight. Not literally turn left and run and never ever eva look back.

You big dummy. You're Lost.

So, about half a mile down a residential street, I realized that there were no other runners around me, and it was absolutely impossible that I was first. So, I ran back from the way I came, made it to the sign, to see all of the other runners making their way on Leg 8.

I mean, she just told you she saw 4 people get lost. Good Lord Gurl!

But that’s neither here nor there. You’re back on the path. You see all the other runners. You’re making this happen. You got it. Up this inclining road way. Up the uneven pavement. Up in the temperature as each minute passes. Just up. Jesus.

Then down. On one knee. Yea, that was your ankle homey. It did like 360°… You should probably stop now. That’s probably a good idea.

Fuh-K. Just when I thought I had it, I lost it. Sure I was on the right path. Just the wrong footing. And now I have 4 more miles to go. Sure I could make it. I mean, I’ve been in worse conditions finishing long runs. But this is different. There is a SUV with 5 other ladies waiting on you. And you’re not going to keep up your slightly slow perfected pace. You gotta do it. You gotta tap out. Give them a call.

No cell reception. No data. No nothing. No nada.

Fuh-K.

There has never been the feeling of disappointment like this. Knowing you are hurt. Not terribly, but the way this incline is set up…you might not make it.

Well, you ain’t got a signal. Nobody can hear you now. You might as well wobble your way to the exchange point. Bruh. You’re a mess.

One Mile To Go: OMG – there are no mile markers in this race!!! I can’t believe I haven’t noticed that I have no idea where I am on this Leg! How did I not notice that? Oh, that pain. That’s how. Well, I guess that kind of makes sense. They’d need like 200(ish) of them. At least it’s just one more mile, and not telling me that I have like 6 more.

…and that’s pretty much what happened. I wobbled all the way to the exchange point. By the time I got a message to someone from my team, I was in an area with no van support…and quite frankly, it made more sense to keep going. Good Grief, there is nothing more defeating than that feeling. And I had to wobble in it for another hour.

No data. No signal. But somehow, my GPS never went out. #ThisCantBeRealLife

…*an hour later after ice and a compression sleeve* Hey, I just got your message! You tried to contact us? #ICantJesus #ButTheyCanHearMeNow

Ragnar Napa – 200(ish)miles

Leg 8: 7 miles R

Leg 20: 3.5 miles

Leg 32: 3.4 Miles

Second Leg #RunNightStand >>