Well, I did it. I said I
wanted to do this awesome running thing called Ragnar, so months and months
ago, I gave away my money.
…and went out about my life.
Because, that’s what I do. I sign up for awesome running events. Get supper
geeked. Tell er’body what I’m doing. Then, get back to my stressed out life of
running, blogging, working, and happy hour’ing. Because, you only get one
life…so you might as well get busy living it alive,
right?
Well, once October 1st
hit, I knew that I was going to have to get my mind right. Because I signed up
to ride in a large(ish) SUV
with 5 other running lady friends and run 3 legs of a relay race. You know,
effectively camp and run…at the same (damn) time.
Bruh.
You’d think I didn’t even know
myself. Because I be signing up for ridiculous stuff. This dumb idea’ing knows
no end. Like none.
Friday, 4:55am *knock*knock*on my bedroom
door*knock*knock*
Hey, aren’t you supposed to be up? For your race thing?
*meeeeehhhh* OMG! OMG! It’s 5:00am! I'm
late! I’m late! I’m Late
#ForAVeryImportantDateWithRunning
That’s pretty much how the
morning started. 95% packed and ready to do, and up about 45 minutes later than
I anticipated. Yo, these late nights and early mornings are no good for
runners. Especially first time Ragnarians. And, if you don’t make it on time,
you won’t be a Ragnarian, honey. Get to it!
Oh yea, by the way, you left
your bag for Sunday at your apartment. Good Luck with figuring that one out
hun. Good Luck.
Yo, I am so nervous right now.
Like literally. Where is my Daddie at? I need a hug for real. Have I properly
hydrated? Are my shoes on the right feet? Did I put deodorant on? OMG, I need a
living trust! How will all of my godchildren know what wonderful stuff of mine
that belongs to them? I can’t. I really can’t. Is it time for the rapture?
Get yourself together. I mean,
how difficult could “very hard” be anyway? I mean, it’s a volunteer sporting
event. Like they’d make it that difficult? #yes #yesTheyWould
#VeryHardIsNotYourLaneBoo
So, as the Math Major came in
from a fabulous performance on Leg 6 of the relay, she gave me some helpful
advice on my way to my van for the drop off.
Pay attention
to the directional signs girl. I saw like 4 people go the wrong way. Follow
those blue signs! Be careful.
Okay, got it. Follow the blue
signs. Whatever you do, do whatever it says on the blue sign. Got it.
We were stuck in traffic, so
by the time we made it to the exchange for my leg, our runner was already
there. I hated that so much! We were supposed to have a flawless exchange that
was not scripted, but totally looked that way on the camera, right? Anyway, she
gives me a slap on the wrist with the armband, and I’m off.
…in the wrong direction. Yes.
I’ve messed up already. In the first 0.01 mile of this leg. I am going in the
wrong direction.
That’s okay though. Turn
around. Get it back. You got this.
I’m off again. I’m feeling
good. It’s a little warm, but you know, that’s a thing. Keep going. Sure it’s
gonna get warmer. No matter that. Just keep running.
See a “Turn Left” sign….well,
turn left and, you guessed it… Just. Keep. Running.
Down the wrong way. Of course
they meant turn to the left of the street and keep going straight. Not
literally turn left and run and never ever eva look back.
You big dummy. You're Lost.
So, about half a mile down a
residential street, I realized that there were no other runners around me, and
it was absolutely impossible that I was first. So, I ran back from the way I
came, made it to the sign, to see all of the other runners making their way on
Leg 8.
I mean, she just told you she
saw 4 people get lost. Good Lord Gurl!
But that’s neither here nor
there. You’re back on the path. You see all the other runners. You’re making
this happen. You got it. Up this inclining road way. Up the uneven pavement. Up
in the temperature as each minute passes. Just up. Jesus.
Then down. On one knee. Yea,
that was your ankle homey. It did like 360°… You
should probably stop now. That’s probably a good idea.
Fuh-K. Just when I thought I
had it, I lost it. Sure I was on the right path. Just the wrong footing. And
now I have 4 more miles to go. Sure I could make it. I mean, I’ve been in worse
conditions finishing long runs. But this is different. There is a SUV with 5
other ladies waiting on you. And you’re not going to keep up your slightly slow
perfected pace. You gotta do it. You gotta tap out. Give them a call.
No cell reception. No data. No
nothing. No nada.
Fuh-K.
There has never been the
feeling of disappointment like this. Knowing you are hurt. Not terribly, but
the way this incline is set up…you might not make it.
Well, you ain’t got a signal.
Nobody can hear you now. You might as well wobble your way to the exchange
point. Bruh. You’re a mess.
One Mile To Go: OMG –
there are no mile markers in this race!!! I can’t believe I haven’t noticed
that I have no idea where I am on this Leg! How did I not notice that? Oh, that
pain. That’s how. Well, I guess that kind of makes sense. They’d need like 200(ish) of
them. At least it’s just one more mile, and not telling me that I have like 6
more.
…and that’s pretty much what
happened. I wobbled all the way to the exchange point. By the time I got a
message to someone from my team, I was in an area with no van support…and quite
frankly, it made more sense to keep going. Good Grief, there is nothing more
defeating than that feeling. And I had to wobble in it for another hour.
No data. No signal. But
somehow, my GPS never went out. #ThisCantBeRealLife
…*an
hour later after ice and a compression sleeve* Hey, I just got your message! You
tried to contact us?
#ICantJesus
#ButTheyCanHearMeNow
Ragnar
Napa – 200(ish)miles
Leg 8:
7 miles R
Leg
20: 3.5 miles
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