Run-Night-Stand. Leg 20, 1:00am(ish)

<< First Leg #WorstPaceScenario

After 7.0 miles on a bum ankle, seeing Chipotle was like an angel descending from the heavens with news of the 2^nd coming of the King. I mean, all my troubles went away. I even had a little pep in my wobble. I suppose it also helped that I had my Camo Onesie too. You could not tell me I wasn’t the dopest Ragnarian out there?! Seriously, you couldn’t. 2 vans stopped me at different times that day to tell me just how fly I was in my Camo Onesie.

So, this is the part where you hoe-bath, because that’s a thing. You get what’s called a shower pill, or in my case, Huggies baby wipes…and use these to wipe away the disappointment of a wobbling 7.0 mile performance. Bro, like seriously. You find a place to wipe it all away, then sleep. Sometimes in the parking lot on the ground. If you’re me, it’s in the SUV…because you ain’t about that camping life.

If your friends are members at 24 hour fitness, you well…sign up for a guest pass and take a real shower. Because, remember…you were never about this life. You aren’t made for changing a tire in a parking lot. What made you think you could survive this?

A medal. That’s what. A medal made you think you could survive this.

That shower tho at 24 Hour Fitness was everything! I mean, like every itty bitty thing. Thank Ya Jesus! Now I can sleep – in the back of the SUV – in peace.

And that was some of the best sleep I ever had. In the time I slept, Van 1 has just about completed all of their miles. We were at the 2^nd major exchange, awaiting Runner 6 (Leg 18) to hand off to Runner 7 (Leg 19) again. I woke up to the sounds of women talking about, well, running.

My eyes opened. I looked left and right. Nothing looked familiar. I was cautious not to make any sudden moves. The voices were unrecognizable. And I thought to myself, what the eff did you do last night? Like where the eff are you? Dude, you need to get your life together. Like seriously.The way my life is set up. This isn’t even an off occurrence.

Then I realized that I was in the middle of Ragnar Napa. And that I must live a completely random life to wake up in my camo onesie with a huggies baby wipe balled up in my hand and be that damn confused about how I got there. I felt like I was in an episode of Criminal Minds or some ish. SMH.

Leg 20: 3.40 Miles. Easy.

I’m pretty sure they were thinking this was an easy leg for a person who hadn’t rolled their ankle on 7.0 miles inclining upwards into the heavens. I mean, it wasn’t difficult, but the control one has to have to keep their ankle stable in the wee hours of the morning? I’m not built for that. I spent the first mile super nervous that I was going to fall down because it was pitch black. And just like Vin, when the lights were out, it was like nothing was there. Soon as the headlamp came on, there were random runners everywhere!

Halfway through the path, I got to a similar crossroad as I did in Leg 8. There was a sign indicating that we should cross the street. But, once across, there was no sign in sight nothing which direction we should go next. There was another runner coming up to the corner experience the same confusion. We both broke down. Not in tears or anything. Just a real ass moment of honesty.

Uh, do you know which direction to go?

Lady, I’m not the best person to ask. I got lost earlier today.

Me too. *sigh*

Eventually, smarter, less directionally challenged runners got to this crossing. They seemed to be more informed about the next steps so we followed them. I figured I’d not worry too much about kills¹, and perhaps just follow the group as to not get turned around again. Like who would believe I’d get lost twice? Everyone would. But still. #ThatsNotThePoint

One Mile To Go: Praise the Lord! I’m not sure me and this headlight are going to make it any further! I’m about to beast this last mile. Eff a knee and an ankle. I’m done with this. *kill*kill*kill* Outta my way! My seat in the back of that SUV is calling!

It was awesome though, aside from the pain, running in the middle of the night. The cool air. The gentle breeze. Empty streets. Street lights and blue directional signs marking the path like a grail quest. The path was alive! And I made my way to the Exchange without a single complication – or wrong turn.

Cause I’m Smart.

…and hella sleepy. I hope they kept my spot in the SUV warm. Cause a negro about to put that camo onesie back on and catch a few more of those zzzzz’s!

Ragnar Napa – 200(ish)miles

Leg 8: 7 miles R

Leg 20: 3.4 miles R

Leg 32: 3.4 Miles

¹kills: points you get for passing a runner during your mileage…there is no feeling like the one that you have when you have just enough energy and oxygen to pass the unsuspecting runner ahead of you. 

Third Leg #HowTheWestWasRun >>