I’m a runner.
There was a time when I would have said something like: I’m not athletic – at all. I’m something of a runner, but would never confuse that with athletic prowess or anything of the sort. I said exactly that, this one time. I mean, look at me. I do not look anything like a runner. Go ahead, find a picture. I will wait for you to confirm what I already know to be your reaction when I say that I like to run. But f*ck it, I run. I LOVE getting medals, so I “like” running. There’s no indication of speed, distance, style, or anything. I start running and I finish. Every. Single. Time.
So, the homeys and I are running 14 medal races in 2014 #14in2014. We are planning our running schedules, coordinating travel plans, and looking for as many opportunities possible to have a Medal Monday. It is literally the best feeling ever. It is like having dark chocolate after giving it up cold turkey to fit in a dress you are only wearing one time, because you are a bridesmaid…and bridezilla has your picture at every fast food restaurant from here to Galilee. All I wanted was a small fry! It's McDonald's! I didn't even ask for the bbq sauce. Or finding a shoe sale with a price so incredibly ridiculously cheap, you buy the shoes EVEN THOUGH they are not your size, you have a pair of them already and are sending them to your friend Just BeFreakingCause, even though the postage is more than what you paid for said duplicate shoes. You know what I feel like on Medal Monday? Like a mutha-fckin-boss! Like a gottdamn Olympian! I did this ish for the U. S. of A! With my red, white, blue and Olympic Gold!
Anyway, one day amidst all this daggone running, I subconsciously embraced it as part of who I am. You know? Me and the running thing. I had the epiphany that I was outwardly espousing that part of my inner identity whilst yelling at the flat screen out some Bruin Alum #CollegeFootball. Having a discussion withfellow alum about life, work, traffic, Banana Republic, food, beer and touchdowns, I found a way to bring up running. I am also kind of snobby about it. Actually, I’m an accidentally humble bragging snob about it. I was doing a 10K in San Francisco that next morning in preparation for the Rock n Roll Half in Las Vegas the following weekend. You know, get a little organized running in before the coup de grâce, right? “Oh, don’t worry, it’s just a 10K…I’m only having two beers.” #SnobAlert
You should see the creepy excited look on my face when I have an opportunity to baptize another set of Asics in the Running Cult o_O. Right. Creepy! I mean, I’m not just the President, I’m also Leg 2 in Marathon Relay #BlackGirlsRunOakland #RunLikeHella #TeamTallsAndSmalls. So this was an opportunity to connect to those who practice the dark art of running, or better yet, create new converts. AND, they are Bruins. This is a win – win, right? Wrong – Wrong. Though they continued to engage in the conversation with me, it was completely awkward. Picture this conversation… I will tell you what I said, and the corresponding responses from their photo-shopped and questionably fit non-verbal reactions.
There was a time when I would have said something like: I’m not athletic – at all. I’m something of a runner, but would never confuse that with athletic prowess or anything of the sort. I said exactly that, this one time. I mean, look at me. I do not look anything like a runner. Go ahead, find a picture. I will wait for you to confirm what I already know to be your reaction when I say that I like to run. But f*ck it, I run. I LOVE getting medals, so I “like” running. There’s no indication of speed, distance, style, or anything. I start running and I finish. Every. Single. Time.
So, the homeys and I are running 14 medal races in 2014 #14in2014. We are planning our running schedules, coordinating travel plans, and looking for as many opportunities possible to have a Medal Monday. It is literally the best feeling ever. It is like having dark chocolate after giving it up cold turkey to fit in a dress you are only wearing one time, because you are a bridesmaid…and bridezilla has your picture at every fast food restaurant from here to Galilee. All I wanted was a small fry! It's McDonald's! I didn't even ask for the bbq sauce. Or finding a shoe sale with a price so incredibly ridiculously cheap, you buy the shoes EVEN THOUGH they are not your size, you have a pair of them already and are sending them to your friend Just BeFreakingCause, even though the postage is more than what you paid for said duplicate shoes. You know what I feel like on Medal Monday? Like a mutha-fckin-boss! Like a gottdamn Olympian! I did this ish for the U. S. of A! With my red, white, blue and Olympic Gold!
Anyway, one day amidst all this daggone running, I subconsciously embraced it as part of who I am. You know? Me and the running thing. I had the epiphany that I was outwardly espousing that part of my inner identity whilst yelling at the flat screen out some Bruin Alum #CollegeFootball. Having a discussion with
You should see the creepy excited look on my face when I have an opportunity to baptize another set of Asics in the Running Cult o_O. Right. Creepy! I mean, I’m not just the President, I’m also Leg 2 in Marathon Relay #BlackGirlsRunOakland #RunLikeHella #TeamTallsAndSmalls. So this was an opportunity to connect to those who practice the dark art of running, or better yet, create new converts. AND, they are Bruins. This is a win – win, right? Wrong – Wrong. Though they continued to engage in the conversation with me, it was completely awkward. Picture this conversation… I will tell you what I said, and the corresponding responses from their photo-shopped and questionably fit non-verbal reactions.
Me: “So, OMG, I LOVE
getting medals! I’m doing a 10K this weekend so I can get my mind ready for the
RnR Half in Vegas next Sunday, I’m sooo excited!” #MedalRedemption
Their Non-Verbals: *wait, did she just
say that she runs? like her feet move in the walking motion, but faster?* #confused
Me: “Really? You run
too?! That’s so exciting… RnR have great races…”
Their Non-Verbals: *oh, this must be
the first time she’s like run. ever. in life. no wonder she’s so excited. she thinks
a half is like half a 10K or something. she’s never actually done a HALF
Marathon. it’s going to be really awkward when we tell her how far she’s going
to have to run.*
Me: “OMG! You’ve ran RnR
in Las Vegas too? It’s such a great race, right? The lights, the bands, the
music, the people! I did it in 2011. It’s redemption for me; I didn’t get a
medal when I did it the first time. I was soooo disappointed.”
Their Non-Verbals: *this b*tch lyin. if
she’s ran a half marathon, then the president is still black. wait…*
I’ve had to defend my identity for most of my life. People seeing the outside of me, and making assumptions about what the insides look and/or act like #theyrephysiologicallythesameasyours. I’m a woman. I’m not thin. I’m educated. I’m Black #obviously. I have a fantastic sense of style. I’m pretty accomplished in my career – though there is plenty more to do. I suppose I expected I would have to defend my religious beliefs, or my kinda conservatively liberal political views, or the fact that I drive a Cadillac because Mother Nature gives exactly no f*cks about me for a week every month #payback. But when I started running, I did not prepare myself for their non-verbal responses. Until those judgmental looks on their faces, the strange movements of their socially acceptable bodies, and their passive aggressive insistence on a new conversation topic, I believed that everyone in the not so United States of America and its suburbs (the world) would cheer me on to the finish.
But, even runners have haters. Runners cannot see them because, hello?!!? They’re running! Haters do not run. They do not even compete. They never start – running. Mostly because they are too busy hating to start. And they will never see the finish line.
And they for damn sure ain’t got no bling to hold up the line at TSA on Medal Monday. Yea, I said it. Bling.
An actual writer (I’m pretending to write), Mary Oliver wrote, “Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.” I have received acouple few boxes packed FULL of darkness that I am not ready to show any gratitude for #StillBitter. I know, right? I am sooo popular #meh. But this one gifted to me by their non verbal responses? It did not take me years to understand its purpose. This box has my redemption medal from RnR Vegas 2013 right on top of it. Thank you, Bruin Alum, for that box full of darkness. It was the gift I needed. It’s heavy enough to hold the weight of my medal. Oh, and it glows in the dark.
#14in2014 started before I met them. I will finish this despite them. I did not need them to motivate me to do it. The race medal and support from Erin and Kim is more than enough. But, I did need a reminder. I need to remember to prepare. Not everyone I meet is going to believe in me. They will not believe in #14in2014 the way that I do. There will be people who never speak it and others who will doubt the possibility that I will see 14 Start and Finish lines. When I meet these people, these Jason Lock’s of running, I will invoke my inner Morpheus… When they say to me, they don’t believe in 14 in 2014 like I believe, I will make sure to remember and remind them that my belief in #14in2014 doesn’t require them to. Believe.
See you at the Start Line.
Have my mimosa ready for me at the Finish. I’m pretty sure you will get there before me.
I never said I was fast. I just said I Finished.
But, even runners have haters. Runners cannot see them because, hello?!!? They’re running! Haters do not run. They do not even compete. They never start – running. Mostly because they are too busy hating to start. And they will never see the finish line.
And they for damn sure ain’t got no bling to hold up the line at TSA on Medal Monday. Yea, I said it. Bling.
An actual writer (I’m pretending to write), Mary Oliver wrote, “Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.” I have received a
#14in2014 started before I met them. I will finish this despite them. I did not need them to motivate me to do it. The race medal and support from Erin and Kim is more than enough. But, I did need a reminder. I need to remember to prepare. Not everyone I meet is going to believe in me. They will not believe in #14in2014 the way that I do. There will be people who never speak it and others who will doubt the possibility that I will see 14 Start and Finish lines. When I meet these people, these Jason Lock’s of running, I will invoke my inner Morpheus… When they say to me, they don’t believe in 14 in 2014 like I believe, I will make sure to remember and remind them that my belief in #14in2014 doesn’t require them to. Believe.
See you at the Start Line.
Have my mimosa ready for me at the Finish. I’m pretty sure you will get there before me.
I never said I was fast. I just said I Finished.
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| I know what you're thinking. Right. I'm Hella Bossy! #kelis |
Note: I honestly do not know another time in my entire life that I have ever been more inspired to do something like what I'm doing right now.
This. Is. Really. Happening. Like. Seriously. Happening. I hope that you will join me in this effort with your love, prayers (for health, I fall down a lot. hard.), and maybe even your sneakers! Sign up for a race with me! I want to share my love, the pavement, my epic #14in2014 & #MedalMondays with you! Then you can write me and tell the world how much FUN you had #RUNNIN!!!
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