It Could Have Been Us, But...

I recently had a professional development experience in Oxnard, CA. At a resort on the beach. I am writing this, knowing that I sooooo was not ready to leave. I needed one more day to get...well, professionally developed. Yea…that. I needed more time to do that.

I met a man. A man with a very good and very important name. We were introduced on Sunday at the opening cocktail hour. We were conference spouses by the beginning of Opening Reception. We had a lovely honeymoon getting to know each other professionally and personally. 

I miss my conference spouse.

This was supposed to be us...

As we planned our late nights and early mornings of sessions, networking and fun, I found a particular event of interest. A 5k Fun Run for conference attendees! Omg! Omg! Omg! How amazing?!?!? I get to run for fun, at work, newly married!! #SignedHimUpWithoutAsking #NoooooHeWasntReady

I kept bringing it up. He kept casually laughing the subject to a new topic.  But I’m persistent (or selfish…you decide) and when it comes to most things, especially running, I am determined to get what I want. I mean look at him?! He’s handsome, great smile, plays well with others, allows me to make all the important decisions #anotherround #turnup #keepthepartygoing, and did I mention handsome? I haven’t even gotten to the fact that we are in the same profession and he TOTALLY GETS ME! #InLove,Professionally

This could have been us... #butNo

Then he finally told me. Despite the fact he has committed himself to a healthier lifestyle and works out, or the fact that his biceps are so big he literally busted out of his shirt at the Corporate Sponsor’s Expo, that he physically cannot run. See, he has a condition, a condition that makes running actually impossible for him to do. Should he attempt such a feat, it would be at the risk of his very dear life.

I am a terrible conference wife. #ijustcantwithmyselfsometimes

So terrible that I could not get past the fact that I wanted to do this thing that might literally kill him, so badly, that I made us get up after a long night of poker and karaoke to walk the 5k. I mean it's for fun. It’s a workout. It’s on the beach. And they said fun...and we’re totally fun. And I’m not sure I could even run a mile on sand, so there’s that. #icouldnot

Unbeknownst to me, runners and participants doing the full 5k received what at the end? Medals. This fun run was a 3.1 mile medal opportunity. Yea they were small, and totally not blingy like all the others I’ve earned, but hot damn it’s a damn medal!! Dammit!!  

I'm glad this WAS us! #minusthehandholding

And I am glad I didn’t get a medal. I didn’t really want one after I attempted to jog on the sand and realized that was NOT about to happen #thesandwassoft #myfeetsank #couldntevenrunthe0.1. Quite frankly, though, I did nothing to deserve it. Sure I showed up sans socks and got super sandy by our finish (not to be confused with “the” finish). But I made someone I just met (and “conference” married) out themselves #badstudentdevelopmenteducator. Tell me something super personal that was no business of mine, so that I would let something go that was no business of theirs. Even with community property separation laws in California #IGetHalf, he keeps his condition. I keep my #14in2014 .

I’m an awful human being sometimes. I let my excitement from time to time take me to places that have the potential to hurt others.

Every time I mentioned the fun run, even though I agreed, and was soooo cool with walking, he always had to reveal who he was – a man. And who he wasn’t – a runner. Has he made his peace with it? Probably. Was mine to reveal? No.  Not even considering our happy hour conference nuptials.

But he is an amazing conference husband. And becoming someone who is going to be an amazing friend. As I called out from the warmth of the bed in the morning, he was quietly getting dressed. And when I emerged from my head scarf sans running shoes, he was fully dressed and ready to go.

Five medals closer to #14in2014 (pick a race, any race) and I still don’t recognize the beauty of this. How there are all these people conspiring to see me be great, even at their expense.

I could be more blessed. Because God promises abundance and overflow, I am certain that I will. But I don’t know how much more I can stand! #areasontobehappyMissFaith

So, this is me saying thank you to my new friend for making me calm down long enough to remember why I even decided to do this. And to thank him, and all of you, for running (in your own special way) your own version of #14in2014 with me.

I won’t finish this without you. Not because I can’t. But because it won’t mean anything if I did it, and you weren’t there to see me finish.